57. Nearing the end - a new beginning!

Well, two programs are almost completed. It's school holidays now. Once term resumes, the two other pilot programs will have three weeks to run. I am still feeling that we could have had another three months with these pilots for them to be more effective, so it will be interesting to see what the results of the end of program online Mentor Profiler and Student Performers are.

I have just completed an analysis of the first pilot's Mentor Profilers and Student Profilers. Both show significant growth in the students' development, while the mentors, as a group, have also shown more signs of positive development than I was expecting. I am awaiting some more feedback to my analysis from the founders of the program. Once I have this, perhaps I will place a summary as a separate blog page.

It is looking like we have lost one student from one of the pilots. She has not been at school for many weeks and thus could be regarded as a student who has disengaged. Not even being a part of the mentoring program persuaded her to stay at school. Sadly, negative peer pressure, self-esteem issues and other personal issues have won the day, let's hope only temporarily, as she has so much more potential than even she seems to realize. She had such a fantastic mentor who was prepared to walk the extra mile for her, but to no avail. Had we started the program in February instead of May perhaps she might still be at school and participating positively in the program - we will never know.

However, there have been more positives in some of the relationships. Mentors accompanied their mentees to the Apprenticeship Expo last week or else had assisted their mentees with Resume writing (CV), so they could deliver these to any potential employers. I suppose a slightly negative point was that some of the youngsters who should have gone to the Expo did not do so. There will be excuses made, but ultimately this lack of energy or determination (possibly self-belief?) to get there would be reasons why they are involved in the GR8 MATES program.

It's also good to hear how mentors are arranging work experience opportunities for their mentees and how they have assisted their mentees with their subject selection for 2009, often because they had been exploring possible careers together.

The second program at the school where we had our first pilot is going so well. There are a couple of disciplinary issues or absences that have slowed down the progress of a couple of relationships, but these mentoring relationships have plenty of time to get going next term. I am thinking that most of the mentors and their students have already got a pretty good connection, a couple have fantastic connections so early in the program, suggesting that those students were totally ready for the mentoring journey. It was good to hear that one student invited his mentor to watch him playing in a school activity, while another mentor has been watching his student playing Soccer matches during weekends. The latter student brought a whole lot of his Soccer medals to school the week before last and was wonderfully affirmed by program staff and his mentor and, I suspect, some of his peers quietly admired his achievements.

Still working on recruiting for the first 2009 program. I am putting together a Power Point presentation for a group of +100 Rotarians next week, desperately hoping that 10% might show an interest in the new program :-)

56. The Mentor as a wise guide

During this past week I have seen some wonderful examples of the key role of a mentor as a wise guide, some of which I will share in this Blog, simply to give ideas for other mentors who might be battling with their mentees at times.

A number of mentors have been spending time helping their mentees put together their Resumes or C.Vs. This Tuesday night our organisation runs its annual Apprenticeship and Traineeship Expo in Penrith. It is a huge occasion and we are expecting about 3,000 students and their parents to pass through the Expo. There are probably over 80 Apprenticeships and Traineeships on offer for students wanting to move into that area of work. Some will be able to get school-based Apprenticeships and Traineeships, while others will be able to obtain full-time Apprenticeships and Traineeships allowing them to leave school at the end of the year.

Mentors are volunteers. How good it is to hear that some mentors are volunteering their time to accompany their mentees to the Expo. In a couple of cases, where there is a single parent, the mentor has offered to accompany their mentee and the parent to the Expo.

There have been some great emails going back and forth between some mentors and their mentees. I think of one email from the mentee to her mentor, simply saying how much she is looking forward to each session.

Then there was another one full of emotion and all sorts of things being shared. The mentor responded with great wisdom, simply encouraging the mentee to believe in herself as much as she (the mentor) did. Together they will work on strategies in the weeks ahead.

There are still a couple of students who are away from school far too much and this has meant that the mentors have been unable to become involved as much as they might have. I suspect they have felt frustrated, but that's the nature of the school-based mentoring relationship. While it would be easy to arrange for mentors and mentees to share phone numbers in such a program, I am still undecided as to whether or not this is a wise idea and don't seem to have found any other school-based programs that allow this. It would be good to find out if there are any.

55. Positive signs and more planning

This has been a productive week. One group of mentees completed their Student Online Performer and this has immediately given mentors ideas as to the areas they can explore with their mentees. Many of the students are revealing a great deal of potential, yet their self-belief and self-image will need attention. This is nothing new for a teenager. The fact that they are a little low on self-esteem is one of the reasons they are in the program. What I enjoyed, though, was the positive vibe in the room while the students were completing these Student Performers in the company of their mentors.

A couple of students and their mentors have also embarked on the use of the email facility, which is also fantastic to see. One student has shared all sorts of 'stuff' already and has given the mentor a chance to start encouraging her, building her self-confidence and talking about different things they can do. Another student, only three weeks into the relationship, sent an email to his mentor informing the latter that he was sick and would not be at school for the mentoring session - very positive signs early in this new program. I would love to see more mentors and their students using the email facility like this.

In another program one of the students was chatting to me about some of the things she has been doing with her mentor, mostly exploring career options, work experiences etc. The student commented that GR8 MATES had got her thinking about stuff she would never have thought about. Instead of leaving school at the end of this year, which had been her original plan, she is staying on for a further two years and has all sorts of plans, whilst being more motivated as well.

One school, where the program finishes in late October, has asked if they can run another program next year. However, we will attempt to recruit and train the mentors before the end of the year, match them with the students before the year closes, so they can begin the mentoring journey as soon as schools open in 2009. Pressure now on to recruit the mentors, a major task for the week ahead :-)

54. How am I doing as a mentor?

The above question has been asked or implied in discussions with some of our mentors in recent weeks. In my weekly email out to all our mentors last week, I wrote:

In recent weeks, I sense that there is one question many mentors are asking themselves, which is quite normal: How am I doing? Sometimes it can be asked another way: Do you think I am making any difference?

Back we go to the training! A reminder that every young person is in a different space and that there is no competition in this mentoring journey. I have watched mentors listen to their mentees telling them that they are adamant they will be leaving school at the end of Year 10. A few weeks later the mentee is equally adamant that he or she is remaining at school until Year 12. A few weeks later the same young person is talking of leaving again at the end of Year 10. Welcome to the world of the teenager!!

Then there is the mentee who wants to become a hairdresser or a mechanic. Off they go to work experience and discover this is not for them. That’s brilliant, as that’s what the work experience is all about. Then it’s back to the drawing board with the mentor to look at other interests etc. and the journey of career exploration begins all over again.

This is what mentoring is all about and it cannot be measured. What is going on is the presence of a wise guide in the life of a young person trying to find his or her way – there is communication, social skill development and so much more occurring.

Then there will be other mentoring relationships where mentors are concerned about possible drug use, too much wagging school (truancy), a mentee with totally different values etc. etc. No mentor will be able to change behavior patterns in a week or two or three. In fact, no mentor will be able to change behavior patterns at all. What the mentor can do is be that non-judgmental, empathetic cheerleader and let the mentee take responsibility for his or her decisions, no matter how painful that might be for the mentor. That is the reality of life and sometimes these young people have to go to the bottom of the pit until they discover they can make different choices. It’s tough, it’s hard and some of them are so caught up in negative behavior patterns they just can’t see a way out. So, we need to sow the resiliency seeds by identifying and naming resilient qualities and encourage them to create a network of support around themselves. Are all mentors doing this?

Every mentor who turns up week in and week out is making a difference in that young person’s life. Have no fear of that! That’s why I believe so passionately in mentoring these young people. 10 years from now something you might have shared with your mentee might suddenly kick in. Had you not been there for the young person, that WOW! moment might never have happened, so that’s something to always keep at the back of your mind.

Planning is under way for 2009. It looks like one of the schools running a pilot program wants another program next year, with the mentors being trained soon so they are able to start at the beginning of next year. More of that another time........

53. The joys and pains of adolescence

An interesting couple of weeks.

Our new program is up and running and most of the matches seem to have taken off incredibly quickly and well. The beauty of being involved in youth mentoring programs is their unpredictability! I have had a few splutters trying to get the Student Online Performer completed, but I hope to have that done next week. I would prefer it completed before the mentoring relationship is too far down the road, as that gives a better idea of where the students are at when they begin the journey.

There have been some wonderful developments. One student, who was ready to leave school a few months ago, is now absolutely convinced that she needs to complete her final two years of schooling and seems pretty motivated to do so. Her mentor arranged for her to meet another mentor who works at a local tertiary education institution. This visit was a great success and the student commented that she did not know how many options there were for her until that day. Another heads off with her student to visit a small business in the area tomorrow. Yet another took his mentee to visit a few small businesses a couple of weeks ago. The student is now more motivated to move forward with his career planning and is going to ask one of the people he visited if he can have a week of work experience there.

On the flipside of the coin is the reality that students are still adolescents, have all the mood swings etc. etc. One student has spent far too much time away from school. This has hampered the mentoring relationship. The mentor helped arrange a work experience for the student. The student attended two of the four days and that about sums up where this youngster is at. Perhaps, though, the student realised that she was not cut out for that particular profession.

Mentors continually need to be reminded that the students are adolescents and their behaviour patterns are unlikely to change after one 'chat' with their mentor. I will send out a reminder about this when I email all the mentors tomorrow. I fear some mentors beat themselves up because they don't feel they are achieving enough fast enough, or they expect their mentee to change behaviour patterns, forgetting the huge peer pressure and so on. Over and over again I see my role as reminding the mentors that they are seed sowers - patience, patience, patience!

Over and above all this, I am becoming increasingly concerned at the lack of role modelling in far too many families. Parenting skills are woefully lacking ............ then, again, that's also a generalisation.

52. Mentors and the danger of high expectations

In recent weeks I have had a number of discussions with mentors who have expressed disappointment that their mentees might not have completed a relatively easy task they agreed to see completed when last they met.

During the training I suggest to mentors that they have no expectations of their mentees. Then they will not be disappointed! Most of these students are lacking self-confidence and genuinely believe that they can't achieve much with their lives. This is because of the messages they might have been receiving from parents, peers and teachers. Perhaps it is because they might have a sibling who appears to do well at school, in sport or in some other area and they spend time comparing themselves to this sibling. There are many reasons for these situations, the most common one that I have come across being a mentee living in an unstable, insecure environment.

Anyway, it's been a good time to remind mentors not to have these unreal expectations and rather to use their mentoring sessions to do all the things they and their mentees want to do. While they might not achieve as much in the time available, they might decide to continue meeting one another at the end of the formal program and thus they have some strong foundations on which to build the next leg of their journey. If they quietly persevere, there is a very good chance the young person's self-esteem will be on the rise and then anything becomes possible.

Mentors continue to underestimate the positive effect their weekly appearances for these mentoring sessiomns have on their mentees ie, a volunteer adult consistently turning up week after week to encourage them to reach their potential.

A couple of mentors have organised visits to local businesses or a local tertiary training institution during the past couple of weeks and they are already beginning to see the positives from these excursions.

The beauty of mentoring is that it is so unpredictable!

51. New matching, interesting progress

A busy week last week. On Tuesday the new group of mentors attended the matching session with the new group of students. There is a lot of flu going around at the moment, so it was not really a surprise that a couple of students were away from school. Then one of the students arrived with a friend. The friend wanted to participate, but did not really know much about the program. Unfortunately the School Coordinator was away at another function, so I had some quick decision-making to do. Another girl had arrived as well and insisted that she was supposed to be there. Her name was not on the list! A mentor from the previous program at the school, who also taught part-time there, came to my rescue. She looked for students who had not arrived. A couple of students said they no longer wanted to participate in the program - they have no idea of the opportunity they will be missing, but we don't want students to participate if they are not keen to do so. Eventually we got under way and I allowed the new students to stay. It was good having two mentors from the previous program participating in this program.

We had plenty of laughter and fun even though I had to condense the program because of the late start. Both mentors and students made their confidential choices at the end and I am processing these at the moment. I am still waiting for the school to inform me as to which students who were away that day will remain in the program. With the matching due to take place on Tuesday, I have little time to get things organised. Hopefully, things will come together.

What have I learnt?

Probably the key points which I will take into future matchings will involve having more students present than mentors and all the paperwork from the students completed and handed in to the School Coordinator. This latter point has been an ongoing issue in all our programs and one we do need to get on top of. Also, it's crucial that the School Coordinator is present.

The two other programs had many highs! Mentors are beginning to arrange visits to local businesses and to the local tertiary institutions their mentees are interested in attending. Another mentor is assisting her mentee, who is working through some difficult issues at the moment, to find work experience for a week, just testing the water with regard to future career possibilities. Another mentee told me that she is now going to stay at school next year. A couple of months ago she was adamant that she was going to leave.

These are a few of the positives from the week gone by. There are more. As the connection between mentor and mentee is firmed up, so there is movement in the type of activities the mentors are beginning to get involved in with their mentees.