16. The magical moments of mentoring

We have now reached the stage when mentors arrive at the school and, as soon as their mentee arrives, they pair up and head off for almost an hour together. Some head to the library, where computers are booked for their use each week, while others will go for a stroll around the grounds. A couple might sit in our meeting room and chat. Different methods for different pairings, one of the strengths of a mentoring program.

One mentor has clearly been focusing on the strong points of her mentee and exploring ways to motivate her further. Via the email correspondence during the previous week, the mentor had asked her mentee to consider whether or not they could chat to one of the mentee's teachers (of the subject the mentee appeared to be enjoying the most) . This week, after time in the library, they took a stroll to the faculty of the teacher concerned and, fortunately, found her there. The mentor was introduced and a brief discussion took place, during which the mentee's talents were lauded by the teacher. A self-image is quietly being boosted week by week. Another dynamic taking place was the introduction to the mentoring program in action for this teacher. Hopefully she will chat about this interaction with staff colleagues and so the good work being done by these volunteer adults will be better understood. A good mentor program does have a positive spin-off on the school community and it's the little moments like this that sow those positive seeds.

Another totally different experience took place with another pairing. In this case the mentee had been slow to become involved in the program, but this week the breakthrough occurred. The mentee commented that she felt she had been pressurised to participate in the program at the beginning - possibly because she was precariously balanced in terms of her behaviour at school and school authorities, seeing her potential, saw the GR8 MATES program as a possible positive experience for her. Perhaps the pressure came from a concerned parent. Perhaps it was a combination of these circumstances. The admission that she had felt this way was seen as a major breakthrough in the relationship by the mentor and now we can only hope it will go from strength to strength as there is every indication that the mentee would like to remain in the program.

We are through the probationary period of the mentoring relationships now. I have asked mentors to discuss with their mentees, when next they meet, how both parties are feeling about their mentoring journey. Do they want to continue this journey into 2008? I will be surveying both the mentors and the mentees when we meet next week (a wrtitten survey), an important part of the evaluation process, yet also an important moment for me to assess how things are going.

I have arranged an orientation meeting in mid-December for one of the 2008 schools participating in the program, as we have at least 13 interested mentors, hopefully more by then. The other more rural program has been a little slower at attracting mentors - 6 to 8 today, and I am hoping that an article due out very soon in a local community newspaper will attract some more mentors.

I need to get the Application Packs organised :-)

15. Recruiting mentors for 2008

I am at the desperate stage of trying to recruit 30 mentors for our two new programs in 2008, one in the local Penrith area and the other in the Hawkesbury area.

Yesterday our email brochure was distributed via the intranet of one of the local tertiary institutions. We also had some advertisements in local community newspapers which, amongst other information shared, mentioned the GR8 MATES mentoring program.

Within 48 hours I have received phone calls or emails from 16 potential mentors and I would think the majority of them are committed even though we have not yet had the orientation program.

I have a policy of responding to all calls and emails within 48 hours of receiving these expressions of interest. I like to think that it puts across the message to these volunteers that we really appreciate their interest in our program.

One of the Hawkesbury community newspapers will be writing an article on the program which will be published next week, all going well and, a short while ago, a local church near Penrith asked if they could advertise the program to their congregation members. They had received the email brochure from a member of their congregation - it's all about using networks, isn't it? :-)

Now for the next 15 mentors!!!!

14. Reinforcing key training points as the mentoring journey gets under way

The mentoring program is going exceptionally well and the interaction between students and mentors is fantastic. While there are one or two students that might still be settling into the program, probably working out how to deal with negative peer pressure, the majority are enthusiastically connecting with their mentors.

This week after the debrief session with the mentors I thought it appropriate to remind them of some of the key points we had discussed during the training, also taking the chance to refer them to specific pages in the training workbook and in their manual, 'The Spirit of Mentoring - A manual for adult volunteers', particularly pertaining to the experiences young people are going through at this time of their lives. Some of the points I shared were as follows:

It’s probably a good time to remind you of some of the key points made during the training:

· We are not there to fix students or families.
· Avoid the trap of getting too emotionally involved – it’s not good for either party.
· Mentors are GR8 MATES not saviours or rescuers.
· Don’t fall into the trap of wanting to keep coming up with solutions, offering advice, solving your mentees’ problems for them etc. The most effective mentoring is getting them to solve their own problems after brainstorming with you and this might take time and does not have to happen immediately (which is what Gen Y want!) eg, when talking about an issue suggest: "Let’s explore your options. What are they?” “Hey, maybe we can chat more about this and later can work out some plans for 2008 ....” “Why don’t you see what you can find out and then we can chat again next week?”
· Consider using a journal to record your key conversation points if you are not already doing so.
· Keep exploring ways of encouraging them to connect with the school – activities they can get involved in, what needs to be done etc. You might even want to browse the school website yourself to see what’s on offer.
· Keep sowing the seeds of positive peer pressure = reaching their potential.
· What’s going on in their lives at this age? Remind yourself – page 33 of the Worksheets Book from the Training; Pages 79 – 87 of ‘The Spirit of Mentoring’ book will have heaps of reminders of what to expect, as most of these youngsters are battling with self-image, self-concept issues, despite a possible outward show of bravado and "I’m ok,” attitude. At the same time don’t look for problems if they are not there, or create them!!
· Find out in your discussions who the positive people are in their lives eg, if you were desperate for accommodation or needed $100 who would you approach? Parents – great! And who else?? This then encourages talk about building that web of support around themselves for the future, communicating with people who believe in them, role models etc.
· Work out an effective strategy re the use of the email. Sometimes just a quick word of encouragement is all that’s needed. Or, if your mentee is feeling low, arrange for them to contact you in a day or two just to check on how things are going – short and sweet, always effective!
· Vary how you spend your time with your mentee eg, you might go for a walk and talk, then spend 15 minutes googling something on the computer and chatting. Boys prefer doing rather than sitting and just chatting – all will appreciate variety.
· Never hesitate to get in touch with me if there is something you need to discuss, no matter how trivial you think it might be.

What is encouraging as well is that some of the students are already beginning to think seriously about career options, how they have been thinking, planning (or not planning) etc.

There is plenty of honest sharing in the debrief sessions which has been great and mentors are already beginning to share networking ideas with each other :-)

13. 2008 Program expansion

No sooner have we got this first program under way than we are expanding the program into 2008. It has been a good process, learning from the first launch and applying some improvements. Schools now have to sign a contract committing them to the program, as well as naming their School Coordinator and acknowledging that they understand the role of the School Coordinator. This should make it easier for me to be involved in a program, though from more of a distance once it is well established.

We have a school in the Hawkesbury region and another in the Penrith region now signed on, which means that I have fulfilled our goal of having three schools carrying out the pilot program before the end of 2008.

Our marketing brochure is also available in email form and I spent today sending it to the respective schools for their School Coordinators to distribute. I have one mentor in the Hawkesbury region who has a network of over 150 on his email distribution list, so he has offered to share the marketing email. Our tertiary institution, TAFE, will also be distributing it through their intranet system and tomorrow I am meeting with a church representative from a church close to the Hawkesbury school. I should also be receiving the name of a couple of journalists in that region as well and will be asking them to run stories in the local community newspapers. We are also working on our new website, http://www.schoolsindustry.com.au/ , and there is an area there where interested potential mentors can sign up. there are local Chambers of Commerce which might also distribute the email to their members.

The target is to recruit and sign on 30 mentors (15 per region) by mid-December so we can process Applications and begin the training as soon as school opens in 2008. The challenge is on .....

12. Launch of the ementoring program and much more!

This week saw the launch of the ementoring component of our school-based mentoring program. Mentees and mentors are able to communicate with each other by logging on through the participating school's website. They can do this through their home computers, school computers etc. They have ID and Passwords and are only able to communicate with each other. There is a 'Panic' function which allows a mentee to send an urgent message to the school Principal, School Coordinator and Program Coordinator if they are stressed, feeling uncomfortable about the content of an email etc. All emails can be monitored by the Principal, the School Coordinator and the Program Coordinator. As soon as i arrive at the office each day I check the emails to see who has been corresponding. It will be interesting to see how this new tool works and does or does not enhance the mentoring relationship.

A couple of mentees have been away from school and so have missed our sessions. We have made arrangements for the mentors to contact the School Coordinator to set up alternative times to meet. This seems to be working well.

Mentors have been encouraged to work through the first part of the Student Manual during the final weeks of the year to build the connection. It was great to hear at the debrief this week how many mentors had been doing this and how many of the students were already beginning to open up to their mentors. I also completed the analysis of all the completed Student Performers and gave the mentors some thoughts about their respective mentees which, hopefully, will also enhance the bonding process.

We have a couple of weeks to go before our probationary period is over, though I am both excited and encouraged by what I am witnessing thus far.

11. Ongoing training and support for Mentors

The mentoring program is gradually clicking into gear. While the school is involved in exams I have been encouraging the mentors and mentees who joined the program late for a variety of reasons to try and meet at least once before we meet as a group next Tuesday. This has worked well and most students have completed the Student Performer. Again this is showing how important the mentoring relationship could be for these students. While they have gifts and talents and so many positives, a number are clearly lacking social skills, self-confidence or have battles with how to approach their studying. All these points have been collated from the pre-program Survey the students completed and then the Student Performer - a most worthwhile exercise.

I try to encourage the mentors with a brief email this week, so thought I would share a longer one as it encompasses a lot of what we are tring to do, as well as some of the issues we are having to deal with in the new technological age of the 21st Century.

Here are some extracts:

Hi everyone

We meet again on Tuesday 13 November. If you can be there by 10.50 to sign in so we can start at 11.00 am that would be great. We will meet in the Staff Common Room and move from there to an upstairs computer room. We will be given a quick run through of the ementoring component of the program, so both students and mentors will be comfortable with that format. Thereafter, there will be time to spend chatting with your mentee. I would appreciate those who have not completed the Student Profiler/Performer to complete those.

We now have 11 mentors matched with 11 mentees and, a real positive, is that there are now 4 girls as part of the group ....... everyone who has completed the online Performer will benefit from a mentoring relationship if they give it their best shot – that is a definite conclusion I have drawn from going through the individual Performers completed thus far. Indeed, the school have done incredibly well to recommend these students for the program. Without the program there are a couple there who could well become more at risk of dropping out because of a total lack of self-confidence or an inability to cope with school academics.

Remember: All students are in different spaces. Some are clearly lacking self-confidence, while most could benefit from a 2008 goal getting experience with you. As I have pointed out to some mentors, if you need me to sit with you and your mentee at any time to talk about study skills etc., you have only to ask!

Can we exchange mobile numbers? At this stage please do not make arrangements to contact one another via mobile phones. We have the email component for ongoing contact and that’s a way we can monitor the relationship, a must in this program, as that’s our best guarantee of safety for both the mentors and the mentees. As soon as we go beyond these boundaries we become a community-based mentoring program and that has more paperwork, more Police Checks etc. and we don’t want to go through all that. My guess is that once we are through the probationary period, mid-December, we can revisit the mobile phone contacts, which might require parental permission.

What about meeting outside of school? At this stage there should be no contact between the mentors and mentees outside of the time you meet at school and the ementoring component. That is in line with the contracts which the parents have also signed. As things progress, we will be able to revisit this, but nothing can happen without parental permission and that will be obtained after discussion with the School Coordinator.

What would you suggest we do between now and the end of the year? Use this time to really get to know as much of your mentee as you can and build that connection. The ‘Getting 2 Know You’ section of the Students’ Manual is designed to help that process. As you drive the early stages of the relationship, consider completing some of those aspects together. However, if your mentee has a specific area they wish to explore with you that’s fine – go with it!

What is the future of the GR8 MATES mentoring program? The program is 100% likely to be expanded to two schools in the Hawkesbury and Penrith areas next year, the focus being on mentoring Year 10 students. Training will begin as soon as term starts and the matching will take place towards the end of Term One. The mentoring relationship will end during Term Four. Will it continue in 2009? We don’t know the answer to this. My personal position is that I won’t take responsibility for the program beyond the pilot unless we can obtain Deductible Gift Recipient Status (DGR Status), which would then possibly result in us being able to go after corporate funding. Ideally, I would like to see something like a 5 year commitment from the Commonwealth Government and corporate sponsors. With that sort of funding we could develop something long-term and sustainable. How can we do that? [a mentor] has expressed a genuine interest in participating in this process. He and I are meeting for coffee after the mentor meeting next Tuesday. We will talk about building community networks and targeting people to join us on a working sub-committee aimed at growing the program, hopefully finding a friendly legal expert prepared to look into acquiring the DGR Status, as it is an Everest climb. There might be a couple of mentors with useful connections who might want to join this initiative. Feel free to chat to me should you be interested.

Mentoring Thought:

“You must enter into a child’s life, develop trust, earn confidence, find common ground. For, in truth, mentoring can only begin after you and your mentee come to regard one another as important people in each other’s lives.”
-Thomas W. Dortch,Jr.

Have a good weekend and don’t hesitate to be in touch whenever you need to do so.

Kind regards.

Robin