December 9, 2008

66. Some comments from parents about the mentoring journey

Receiving written feedback from parents has been a major challenge and we have not succeeded in this area at all. Parents were sent a 'Parent Exit Survey', which was relatively straightforward to complete. A stamped addressed envelope was included.

Some parents verbally commented on how much their child had benefitted from having a mentor.

Some of the mentees came from homes that were clearly not functioning too well. Although all mentees had to have written parents' permission to participate in the program, that was about as much as the parents were involved in the program.

“[My son] has benefited enormously. He has a more positive attitude to his schooling career and is generally more focused. He has chosen appropriate decisions when interacting with his peers. I think it’s a very valuable program and instills confidence, self-pride and power to achieve. EXCELLENT.”

“Has helped [my daughter] become work oriented, self-confident, self-motivated. The program has also given my daughter an independent view of the workplace.”

“Good, wise influence. The caring influence being added to [my son’s] growing up was priceless. Thanks for your efforts.”

“My daughter seems very confident and can control situations in her life a lot better.”

“[My son] was having some problems dealing with boys that were taunting/stirring him up. [His mentor] was able to provide an adult male perspective and help him through it. Many other things too. [My son] enjoyed the opportunity to discuss things confidentially with an adult male he trusted – would have liked it to go longer.”

65. What mentees thought about the mentoring journey

GR8 MATES mentees were aged 14 or 15 and embarked on the mentoring journey for between 6 and 9 months.

The main focus of the program was on increasing school retention, while exploring possible career pathways.

Mentees met with their mentors for one hour a week, at school, during the school term (semester).

Some of their comments follow:


“[My mentor] has helped me through good times and bad and has helped me cope. She has also helped me with what my goal is in life and things I need to do to achieve becoming a teacher…[the program] has heaps of different aspects and it is brilliant …it is perfect the way it is.”

“[My mentor] gave me a lot of confidence. He told me about my self-worth and my values. I was extremely lucky to get him as a mentor. I liked that I had someone to talk to whenever I needed to, through email and face to face. I realized throughout the journey my career goals and opportunities.”

“My mentor has helped me analyse myself and the careers I’m interested in and helped me to find better time managing skills. I liked having someone to talk to about life in general, and having someone who can relate to certain things has been helpful and fun.”

“She has really helped me with managing my time. She has also been a great help with finding information about my career and how to achieve it. I enjoyed the whole thing.”

“She has helped me find what I’d like to do when I’m older and set a goal, as well as helping me find work experience at good places J”

“Because I am 100% sure about where I’m going in life and have gained many valuable skills that will help me achieve my goals… gained a friend.”

“It was just good to be able to talk to someone about anything.”

“He has helped sort through my life and make right decisions when it comes to work related things. Very awesome person. Really been good with him.”

“[She] helped me gain self-confidence, realize what I wanted to do in the future, how I was going to get there and has helped me achieve my goals.”

“She told me things I just wanted to hear.”

“Helped find the jobs I like …talking about jobs…”

“I now understand what I want to do in life…I enjoyed it all.”

“She has opened my mind to the opportunities and still has more I’d love to learn from her. She took me to a Career Psychologist showing me what I am best at. She has helped open my mind J …it is a good program.”

“[She] has helped me become more confident in myself and I hope that I have made a positive impact on her life as well. I wish her all the best …talking about each other’s lives, resolving issues and having a good laugh. I liked everything. I think it was a great idea. Thank you for allowing me to have this experience.”

“Helped me with job opportunities eg, work experience.”

“She has helped me write my Resume. She organized work experience. Good rapport.”

“[She] has helped me with a lot of things…having someone to talk to.”

“He has been there if I needed to talk …make it last longer.”

“[She] has taught me to control my anger and shown me the importance of a good career.”

64. What mentors thought about the mentoring journey

I have spent the past few weeks evaluating our three GR8 MATES youth mentoring pilot programs and have been blown away by the results. The programs have surpassed all my expectations and, if the funding arrives, there are about 19 of the current mentors ready to mentor again in 2009.

The mentees were aged between 14 and 15, beginning to disengage from school in many respects.

The mentoring journey lasted between 6 and 9 months.

Volunteer mentors were aged 21 and over.


“[My mentee] began the program wanting to leave school at the end of the year and lacking in confidence. She now believes there are a lot of opportunities out there suited to her talents and is keen to go on to Year 12.”

“We discussed training options for going in to child care and, based on what I knew about her, was able to direct her into a way that would get her to achieve her goal. I enjoyed the program overall.”

“We widened the range of possibilities for future studies and careers. Initially he was only looking at Paramedics, but is also now looking at Business Studies as an alternative. I think the program is a wonderful initiative and would be happy to write testimony or speak about it to other possible mentors.”

“Helped keep him moving forward …support from staff was excellent and [I enjoyed] the freedom within the program scope to find the path that best suited mentee.”

“I do believe I have helped him become a bit more focused on what and where he wants to go with his life.”

“Perhaps the ground work was put down for future mentoring.”

“I believe that [my mentee] has developed during the time we have been spending together. I believe that the formal part of the program was a bit short – although I understand that the intention is to extend it which will be great. The program is very well put together. Robin is an excellent facilitator and his passion for young people is inspirational.”

“I noticed a general change in attitude over the time. [My mentee] became more positive overall. Coordinator and support/training was fantastic.”

“Able to introduce [her] to someone whose support enabled her to identify her strengths and weaknesses and career preferences. The fact that she will return to the school in 2009 is a plus, as she had earlier planned to move schools.”

“His attitude has changed and is happier with himself and has made new friends.”

“I think [he] has become more positive, more engaged at school. I really enjoyed him starting to open up to me. He doesn’t talk much to his family, so it was very rewarding.”

“Hopefully I have given [him] ideas, challenges, options, to think about his future. The school has been great, so has Robin. Great job. Great program. We could do with more funding to make sure this is always available for more kids, more schools and is around long into the future. More people like Robin.”

“Introduced some hard realities of leaving school Yr10 vYR12; took practical step in taking [him] to work place; relaxed approach, taking day to day issues as they come; reflected on links to family, both work and relationships.”

“Helped [him] focus on priorities and actions taking you closer or away from your goals. Better time management awareness. Some public speaking tips. A wonderful experience. I really enjoyed it and got a lot from it.”

“I enjoyed the training, meeting other mentors from varied areas of the community, the matching process and getting to know my mentee. I introduced the idea of Graphic Art to [him]. An area that he is very interested in and didn’t know was available as a career path.”

“I believe I encouraged [her] to see herself in a more positive light, which is good. However, I did not manage to encourage her enough so that she plans on staying longer at school.”

“She is having more emotional days than in the beginning, which I see as her identifying her thoughts and how and why to deal with them. Her marks and organization have improved. [I enjoyed] watching the growth of a young community member; learning how to deal with varying emotions …occasionally her emotional rollercoaster rides concerned me – that I was losing my way with her – BUT Robin always set me on the right way again.”

“I feel that I have made a small difference in her life. She is a very shy girl who maybe didn’t have a lot of confidence in herself. She is slowly gaining confidence and starting to believe in herself. I enjoyed seeing her grow over the last few months even though it was small changes… The support that is given during the process such as comments about how Robin could see a change in her.”

“Through the many activities and discussions we have shared, I have seen a development in his confidence, resilience, self-esteem and self-assurance. He is developing a strength to manage his behavior, his time, his skills and abilities. He is beginning to vision, dream and realize his brilliant potential! Has been a privilege to be a small part of this. “An outstanding program – with amazing potential for many young people – and mentors too. Needs to be expanded, encouraged and funded/supported by powers that be!”

“We worked through career/goal setting/thinking about people, life and jobs and did role plays and discussed experiences (real and possibilities).”

“His manner came across more confident and positive. He has become very open in conversation with me. Watching him go from so lazy and unmotivated to keen to get an apprenticeship and also seeing him looking forward to us meeting each week.”

“I saw him grow in confidence and self-belief. All the “I don’t know” and “it depends” answers diminished in frequency. There was also a change in his physical appearance – no longer hid behind long hair and he carried himself more confidently. He was always keen to meet together. At times when the going got a bit tough there was always good advice and encouragement. Feedback on how we were making progress was great… discovering career paths – his excitement and motivation when he realized what he wanted to do.”

November 10, 2008

63. Passing the baton - the power of mentoring

I had the most amazing moment during the closure of one program last week.

One of the students approached me and asked if the mentees could mentor the new students at the school next year. Well, of course it was not my decision, but I encouraged her to explore this possibility and have subsequently told the School Coordinator about the conversation.

The power of mentoring continues to surprise me. Here, too, was a student who barely could speak to me six months ago, coming along to have this chat and then, as we were packing up, coming to thank me for allowing her to participate in the program.

The school needs young leaders or people of positive influence. What a thought if students who had participated in GR8 MATES could move on to become peer mentors.

I will be spending the next couple of weeks collating all the information I have gathered from these programs, putting together a report for my Board. I already know that the three pilots have been successful - way exceeded my expectations ...... maybe more later.

November 6, 2008

62. More WOW! Moments as third program closes

Today will long remain as one of the most memorable days I have had being involved in a youth mentoring program. Sam (not her real name) came back! Sam had basically dropped out of school about seven weeks ago and had moved in with her boyfriend, who was a few years older than her, partly because she was having difficult family issues. Her mentor and I were trying to work out strategies to reach her, but were experiencing problems in this regard.

Last week I was told Sam had returned to school to write her exams. Today Sam appeared for the Celebration event and looked positively radiant! Each of the mentors and students shared something about the GR8 MATES program they had enjoyed.

Sam told us that she had thought she would not be allowed back to school. However, she had approached the acting Principal and had a discussion with him. Sam had decided that she not only wanted to return to school to write her Public Exams next week, but she wanted to stay on and complete her schooling! Her mentor shed a few tears and I think everyone in the room was moved, as Sam has had a tough time.

I spoke to Sam after the function and let her know how proud of her I was, told her that she had made some courageous decisions in recent weeks and also assured her that never again would she have to feel alone. One of her issues was that she didn't feel she had anyone to talk to, but now she realises how important her mentor is in her life and they have agreed to carry on meeting. In addition, I have also offered to be a support to her via email. Sam has moved back home as well and knows she has to work at her relationship with her mum.

There were other great stories of how students had grown through the program and once again I needed little convincing that youth mentoring is highly effective, even though this program was only for six months, probably three months too short.

Some students absolutely did not want to speak publicly, but all gave it a go and some fears about public speaking were destroyed.

Another fantastic highlight for me was when a couple of students approached me and asked if it would be okay for them to mentor new students next year! Clearly this is not my decision, but I gave them every encouragement. How fantastic it was to know that these young lives had been impacted by their mentors in significant ways and now they want to pass on what they have learnt to others. Sam said she would say to any student: "Stay at school! Stay at school! Stay at school!"

What a privilege it has been to be a part of these young lives :-)

November 2, 2008

61. Fantastic WOW! Moments at Celebration event

The second of our three GR8 MATES programs finished last week and we enjoyed a great celebration of the mentoring journey. 10 or 11 of the mentors have now committed to mentoring another student next year. One mentor is moving from the area, otherwise would be involved and the other lectures in a Tertiary College, so might not be able to participate due to timetable clashes. Many mentors will stay in touch with their students.

Students shared anything they wished about the journey and the mentors did likewise. The following two testaments to mentors highlight the power of youth mentoring and this after only six months, which I still think is too short.

GR8 MATES Year 10 student’s address to the gathering of mentors and mentees at the celebratory event to mark the end of the program (names have been changed to protect privacy).

Dear Anne

Thank you for all the help and support you have given me over the months we have been together.

You have made me realise that nothing is impossible and I can do anything I aspire to be.

You’ve made me stronger both physically and mentally. Before I met you my anger got the best of me. Now, through your support, anger and depression no longer are part of me.

Now I believe I’m making something of my life and to better my future. You have shown me the importance of a good career and the benefits of a healthy lifestyle.

I could never thank you enough. You are truly the most caring person I’ve ever met and I wish to thank you for your commitment to me. You’ve made me a better person and for that I will never forget you.

Thank you.

James

Year 10 student’s note to her mentor at the conclusion of a GR8 MATES pilot program (names changed to protect identity):

To Jo

I write this letter to thank you Jo because without you I doubt I would have gotton through the year. You’ve been a mentor and a friend, which is more than I could of expected and I also thank you for your patience and guidance and I’m glad to have a mentor who cares as much as you care.

Whether I fail school or not, I also want to give you my deepest gratitude for all your help. It was your time to do with what you wish. Instead you came to my school every [week] and offered me advice and friendship!

Kath

Our third pilot concludes this week and I wonder what will occur at that celebratory event :-)

October 26, 2008

60. Winding down two programs and learning lessons

There are an interesting couple of weeks ahead, as two pilot programs come to an end.

Most of the students have now completed their online Student Performer and it is clear that in the majority of mentoring relationships the students have made some significant progress. Almost all of them have a much greater understanding of career pathways and the options open to them, which is one of the major features of the GR8 MATES program. As this has happened, so has their attitude to school and academic studies improved and, in the majority of cases, there also appears to be a growth in self-image, self-confidence and a greater willingness to reveal the 'real me'. I am sure there is a whole lot more and will make an effort to comment more fully on a future blog.

A couple of months ago I decided to write one combined email to the mentors of our three programs each week. Previously I had been writing a separate one to each group. The idea behind the combined one, in addition to the obvious saving of administrative time, was to be an encouragement and reassurance to the mentors, perhaps an opportunity to learn from the efforts of other programs etc. Well, in chatting to a mentor the other day, I came to realise that this was not a good idea, as mentors are busy people and don't read the emails from beginning to end, even when I highlight key points. So, it's clear that a short, sharp email to each group separately is a more effective strategy to ensure effective ongoing training and support.

I have also added a School Cordinator's Program Exit Survey in addition to those for mentors, mentees and parents. I can't believe that I overlooked this earlier :-)

What has been great to see is that thus far 12 of the current group of 19 mentors have indicated they would like to be matched with another student next year. I was not expecting over 50% to volunteer again. Being totally honest, I thought I might be lucky to scrape 25%, but, reading their Exit Surveys, I can see how much they have enjoyed the journey and have valued the level of support they have received from program staff and the School Coordinator - there's a lesson there! A couple also intimated that they feel they have learnt so much, they reckon they could be more effective the next time around.

Tomorrow is the first Celebration of the ending of one of these pilot programs - promises to be an interesting day.

October 17, 2008

59. Is 6 months too short for a mentoring relationship - some discoveries

Yesterday some of the students from one of our pilot programs completed their online Student Performer. They had completed this task at the beginning of the mentoring journey and now, six months later, they have completed the exact same task.

I have yet to do a full analysis, but what is revealed is the following:

  • when mentors have attended training, are aware of what is required of them and consistently turn up, week in and week out at school for a six month period, they can achieve a huge amount.
  • where the focus has been on encouraging these students to think about their careers and different career pathways, the program has been a resounding success.
  • far more was achieved in six months than I could ever have hoped for. However, had we been able to start the program at the beginning of this year, which we were unable to do for a number of reasons, I believe these students would have made even more progress and would be in an even better space.
  • this Student Performer tool from Frontline Solutions has proven to be a fantastic program evaluation tool.

On Wednesday I was about to announce that training would go ahead for the next program, which I wrote about in my previous Blog, when suddenly four potential mentors withdrew, two because of changing work and study situations and a couple unable to commit into 2009 at this stage. So, I have had to cancel the training, but seven of our current mentors have expressed an interest in continuing with another student next year.

This is fantastic news and I have suggested to the school that we go ahead, but with a smaller group, just to keep the momentum going while we await our funding future.

During the next two weeks, we will complete our two pilot programs, with all students and mentors completing the profilers - promises to be an interesting time.

October 9, 2008

58. Potential dangers of a government funded program

I have written before that GR8 MATES is linked to a federal funded not-for-profit organisation. In one month our two other pilot programs will be completed.

I am also experiencing the perennial difficulty of recruiting volunteers for another program, mainly because the mentoring program is only part of my job and also because I haven't really had enough time to recruit these volunteers. The school at which we are completing a pilot wants us to run another program next year. So, the idea is to train the mentors before the end of the year, match them and then they will be ready to begin the journey in February 2009.

Thus far three of the current crop of mentors have indicated that they would like to continue next year and I have about six or eight others interested, though none of these have completed Application Forms yet. I will do some phoning on Monday and Tuesday next week, but if I don't have 10 - 15 mentors for the program, I won't go ahead at the moment.

What this could mean, though, is that we will not be able to launch another program until we know whether or not we will be receiving more funding beyond 2009. Our Federal Government has changed, the economy is being hit by the world global recession - is one allowed to use that word? - so the government might decide our programs should be cut. It would be shooting itself in the foot, as we are working at skilling Australia, which is one of their election platforms. However, with all that they know about youth mentoring at the moment, we are justified to feel worried.

Had we been able to access the status that allows us to seek funders from the corporate world and philanthropists etc., which has a special tax break for the donors, we might already be in a position to be self-sustaining. However, as I have mentioned in previous Blogs, it's like climbing Mount Everest.

The next two weeks will be interesting.

Schools open again on Monday and our three programs get under way :-)

September 29, 2008

57. Nearing the end - a new beginning!

Well, two programs are almost completed. It's school holidays now. Once term resumes, the two other pilot programs will have three weeks to run. I am still feeling that we could have had another three months with these pilots for them to be more effective, so it will be interesting to see what the results of the end of program online Mentor Profiler and Student Performers are.
I have just completed an analysis of the first pilot's Mentor Profilers and Student Profilers. Both show significant growth in the students' development, while the mentors, as a group, have also shown more signs of positive development than I was expecting. I am awaiting some more feedback to my analysis from the founders of the program. Once I have this, perhaps I will place a summary as a separate blog page.
It is looking like we have lost one student from one of the pilots. She has not been at school for many weeks and thus could be regarded as a student who has disengaged. Not even being a part of the mentoring program persuaded her to stay at school. Sadly, negative peer pressure, self-esteem issues and other personal issues have won the day, let's hope only temporarily, as she has so much more potential than even she seems to realize. She had such a fantastic mentor who was prepared to walk the extra mile for her, but to no avail. Had we started the program in February instead of May perhaps she might still be at school and participating positively in the program - we will never know.
However, there have been more positives in some of the relationships. Mentors accompanied their mentees to the Apprenticeship Expo last week or else had assisted their mentees with Resume writing (CV), so they could deliver these to any potential employers. I suppose a slightly negative point was that some of the youngsters who should have gone to the Expo did not do so. There will be excuses made, but ultimately this lack of energy or determination (possibly self-belief?) to get there would be reasons why they are involved in the GR8 MATES program.
It's also good to hear how mentors are arranging work experience opportunities for their mentees and how they have assisted their mentees with their subject selection for 2009, often because they had been exploring possible careers together.
The second program at the school where we had our first pilot is going so well. There are a couple of disciplinary issues or absences that have slowed down the progress of a couple of relationships, but these mentoring relationships have plenty of time to get going next term. I am thinking that most of the mentors and their students have already got a pretty good connection, a couple have fantastic connections so early in the program, suggesting that those students were totally ready for the mentoring journey. It was good to hear that one student invited his mentor to watch him playing in a school activity, while another mentor has been watching his student playing Soccer matches during weekends. The latter student brought a whole lot of his Soccer medals to school the week before last and was wonderfully affirmed by program staff and his mentor and, I suspect, some of his peers quietly admired his achievements.
Still working on recruiting for the first 2009 program. I am putting together a Power Point presentation for a group of +100 Rotarians next week, desperately hoping that 10% might show an interest in the new program :-)

September 21, 2008

56. The Mentor as a wise guide

During this past week I have seen some wonderful examples of the key role of a mentor as a wise guide, some of which I will share in this Blog, simply to give ideas for other mentors who might be battling with their mentees at times.

A number of mentors have been spending time helping their mentees put together their Resumes or C.Vs. This Tuesday night our organisation runs its annual Apprenticeship and Traineeship Expo in Penrith. It is a huge occasion and we are expecting about 3,000 students and their parents to pass through the Expo. There are probably over 80 Apprenticeships and Traineeships on offer for students wanting to move into that area of work. Some will be able to get school-based Apprenticeships and Traineeships, while others will be able to obtain full-time Apprenticeships and Traineeships allowing them to leave school at the end of the year.

Mentors are volunteers. How good it is to hear that some mentors are volunteering their time to accompany their mentees to the Expo. In a couple of cases, where there is a single parent, the mentor has offered to accompany their mentee and the parent to the Expo.

There have been some great emails going back and forth between some mentors and their mentees. I think of one email from the mentee to her mentor, simply saying how much she is looking forward to each session.

Then there was another one full of emotion and all sorts of things being shared. The mentor responded with great wisdom, simply encouraging the mentee to believe in herself as much as she (the mentor) did. Together they will work on strategies in the weeks ahead.

There are still a couple of students who are away from school far too much and this has meant that the mentors have been unable to become involved as much as they might have. I suspect they have felt frustrated, but that's the nature of the school-based mentoring relationship. While it would be easy to arrange for mentors and mentees to share phone numbers in such a program, I am still undecided as to whether or not this is a wise idea and don't seem to have found any other school-based programs that allow this. It would be good to find out if there are any.

September 14, 2008

55. Positive signs and more planning

This has been a productive week. One group of mentees completed their Student Online Performer and this has immediately given mentors ideas as to the areas they can explore with their mentees. Many of the students are revealing a great deal of potential, yet their self-belief and self-image will need attention. This is nothing new for a teenager. The fact that they are a little low on self-esteem is one of the reasons they are in the program. What I enjoyed, though, was the positive vibe in the room while the students were completing these Student Performers in the company of their mentors.

A couple of students and their mentors have also embarked on the use of the email facility, which is also fantastic to see. One student has shared all sorts of 'stuff' already and has given the mentor a chance to start encouraging her, building her self-confidence and talking about different things they can do. Another student, only three weeks into the relationship, sent an email to his mentor informing the latter that he was sick and would not be at school for the mentoring session - very positive signs early in this new program. I would love to see more mentors and their students using the email facility like this.

In another program one of the students was chatting to me about some of the things she has been doing with her mentor, mostly exploring career options, work experiences etc. The student commented that GR8 MATES had got her thinking about stuff she would never have thought about. Instead of leaving school at the end of this year, which had been her original plan, she is staying on for a further two years and has all sorts of plans, whilst being more motivated as well.

One school, where the program finishes in late October, has asked if they can run another program next year. However, we will attempt to recruit and train the mentors before the end of the year, match them with the students before the year closes, so they can begin the mentoring journey as soon as schools open in 2009. Pressure now on to recruit the mentors, a major task for the week ahead :-)

September 4, 2008

54. How am I doing as a mentor?

The above question has been asked or implied in discussions with some of our mentors in recent weeks. In my weekly email out to all our mentors last week, I wrote:

In recent weeks, I sense that there is one question many mentors are asking themselves, which is quite normal: How am I doing? Sometimes it can be asked another way: Do you think I am making any difference?

Back we go to the training! A reminder that every young person is in a different space and that there is no competition in this mentoring journey. I have watched mentors listen to their mentees telling them that they are adamant they will be leaving school at the end of Year 10. A few weeks later the mentee is equally adamant that he or she is remaining at school until Year 12. A few weeks later the same young person is talking of leaving again at the end of Year 10. Welcome to the world of the teenager!!


Then there is the mentee who wants to become a hairdresser or a mechanic. Off they go to work experience and discover this is not for them. That’s brilliant, as that’s what the work experience is all about. Then it’s back to the drawing board with the mentor to look at other interests etc. and the journey of career exploration begins all over again.

This is what mentoring is all about and it cannot be measured. What is going on is the presence of a wise guide in the life of a young person trying to find his or her way – there is communication, social skill development and so much more occurring.

Then there will be other mentoring relationships where mentors are concerned about possible drug use, too much wagging school (truancy), a mentee with totally different values etc. etc. No mentor will be able to change behavior patterns in a week or two or three. In fact, no mentor will be able to change behavior patterns at all. What the mentor can do is be that non-judgmental, empathetic cheerleader and let the mentee take responsibility for his or her decisions, no matter how painful that might be for the mentor. That is the reality of life and sometimes these young people have to go to the bottom of the pit until they discover they can make different choices. It’s tough, it’s hard and some of them are so caught up in negative behavior patterns they just can’t see a way out. So, we need to sow the resiliency seeds by identifying and naming resilient qualities and encourage them to create a network of support around themselves. Are all mentors doing this?

Every mentor who turns up week in and week out is making a difference in that young person’s life. Have no fear of that! That’s why I believe so passionately in mentoring these young people. 10 years from now something you might have shared with your mentee might suddenly kick in. Had you not been there for the young person, that WOW! moment might never have happened, so that’s something to always keep at the back of your mind.


Planning is under way for 2009. It looks like one of the schools running a pilot program wants another program next year, with the mentors being trained soon so they are able to start at the beginning of next year. More of that another time........

August 28, 2008

53. The joys and pains of adolescence

An interesting couple of weeks.

Our new program is up and running and most of the matches seem to have taken off incredibly quickly and well. The beauty of being involved in youth mentoring programs is their unpredictability! I have had a few splutters trying to get the Student Online Performer completed, but I hope to have that done next week. I would prefer it completed before the mentoring relationship is too far down the road, as that gives a better idea of where the students are at when they begin the journey.

There have been some wonderful developments. One student, who was ready to leave school a few months ago, is now absolutely convinced that she needs to complete her final two years of schooling and seems pretty motivated to do so. Her mentor arranged for her to meet another mentor who works at a local tertiary education institution. This visit was a great success and the student commented that she did not know how many options there were for her until that day. Another heads off with her student to visit a small business in the area tomorrow. Yet another took his mentee to visit a few small businesses a couple of weeks ago. The student is now more motivated to move forward with his career planning and is going to ask one of the people he visited if he can have a week of work experience there.

On the flipside of the coin is the reality that students are still adolescents, have all the mood swings etc. etc. One student has spent far too much time away from school. This has hampered the mentoring relationship. The mentor helped arrange a work experience for the student. The student attended two of the four days and that about sums up where this youngster is at. Perhaps, though, the student realised that she was not cut out for that particular profession.

Mentors continually need to be reminded that the students are adolescents and their behaviour patterns are unlikely to change after one 'chat' with their mentor. I will send out a reminder about this when I email all the mentors tomorrow. I fear some mentors beat themselves up because they don't feel they are achieving enough fast enough, or they expect their mentee to change behaviour patterns, forgetting the huge peer pressure and so on. Over and over again I see my role as reminding the mentors that they are seed sowers - patience, patience, patience!

Over and above all this, I am becoming increasingly concerned at the lack of role modelling in far too many families. Parenting skills are woefully lacking ............ then, again, that's also a generalisation.

August 17, 2008

52. Mentors and the danger of high expectations

In recent weeks I have had a number of discussions with mentors who have expressed disappointment that their mentees might not have completed a relatively easy task they agreed to see completed when last they met.

During the training I suggest to mentors that they have no expectations of their mentees. Then they will not be disappointed! Most of these students are lacking self-confidence and genuinely believe that they can't achieve much with their lives. This is because of the messages they might have been receiving from parents, peers and teachers. Perhaps it is because they might have a sibling who appears to do well at school, in sport or in some other area and they spend time comparing themselves to this sibling. There are many reasons for these situations, the most common one that I have come across being a mentee living in an unstable, insecure environment.

Anyway, it's been a good time to remind mentors not to have these unreal expectations and rather to use their mentoring sessions to do all the things they and their mentees want to do. While they might not achieve as much in the time available, they might decide to continue meeting one another at the end of the formal program and thus they have some strong foundations on which to build the next leg of their journey. If they quietly persevere, there is a very good chance the young person's self-esteem will be on the rise and then anything becomes possible.

Mentors continue to underestimate the positive effect their weekly appearances for these mentoring sessiomns have on their mentees ie, a volunteer adult consistently turning up week after week to encourage them to reach their potential.

A couple of mentors have organised visits to local businesses or a local tertiary training institution during the past couple of weeks and they are already beginning to see the positives from these excursions.

The beauty of mentoring is that it is so unpredictable!

August 10, 2008

51. New matching, interesting progress

A busy week last week. On Tuesday the new group of mentors attended the matching session with the new group of students. There is a lot of flu going around at the moment, so it was not really a surprise that a couple of students were away from school. Then one of the students arrived with a friend. The friend wanted to participate, but did not really know much about the program. Unfortunately the School Coordinator was away at another function, so I had some quick decision-making to do. Another girl had arrived as well and insisted that she was supposed to be there. Her name was not on the list! A mentor from the previous program at the school, who also taught part-time there, came to my rescue. She looked for students who had not arrived. A couple of students said they no longer wanted to participate in the program - they have no idea of the opportunity they will be missing, but we don't want students to participate if they are not keen to do so. Eventually we got under way and I allowed the new students to stay. It was good having two mentors from the previous program participating in this program.

We had plenty of laughter and fun even though I had to condense the program because of the late start. Both mentors and students made their confidential choices at the end and I am processing these at the moment. I am still waiting for the school to inform me as to which students who were away that day will remain in the program. With the matching due to take place on Tuesday, I have little time to get things organised. Hopefully, things will come together.

What have I learnt?

Probably the key points which I will take into future matchings will involve having more students present than mentors and all the paperwork from the students completed and handed in to the School Coordinator. This latter point has been an ongoing issue in all our programs and one we do need to get on top of. Also, it's crucial that the School Coordinator is present.

The two other programs had many highs! Mentors are beginning to arrange visits to local businesses and to the local tertiary institutions their mentees are interested in attending. Another mentor is assisting her mentee, who is working through some difficult issues at the moment, to find work experience for a week, just testing the water with regard to future career possibilities. Another mentee told me that she is now going to stay at school next year. A couple of months ago she was adamant that she was going to leave.

These are a few of the positives from the week gone by. There are more. As the connection between mentor and mentee is firmed up, so there is movement in the type of activities the mentors are beginning to get involved in with their mentees.

August 1, 2008

50. 'GR8 MATES ROX!'

Thus wrote a student participating in the GR8 MATES program when the first surveys of our second and third programs were carried out earlier this week. How positive is that!

While there have been a few wobbles as a result of transient students, the programs are settling down and becoming very positive in all respects. Last week the mentors from one of the programs accompanied their mentees to a local Nepean Careers Market where they had the opportunity to visit a variety of stalls covering many possible careers, places of further study, Apprenticeship opportunities and so on. Approximately 6,600 students pass through this event over two days and it is easy for students to waste the time or to feel overwhelmed. Another mentor has assisted a student with the development of a career plan, offering extra time to take the student to a friend of hers who works in this field. On Wednesday night another mentor accompanied her mentee to the student's 2009 subject selection evening at the school and, judging from the emails that have been exchanged since then, this has further cemented the mentoring relationship. Another mentor is planning to introduce her menteee to a high profile sporting organisation towards the end of August if the mentee meets all his school commitments and so I could go on.

12 mentors are preparing for a matching session with students at the local High School where we concluded our first mentoring program recently. This promises to be an interesting occasion.

I shared some points with our mentors earlier today:

· Get out and about. Go for a walk and talk, rather than just settle in a chair and don’t move ie. bring variation into the mentoring meetings. If you move around a bit, this gets the oxygen flowing to the brain and the focus of the student will be consistently good!
· Use the computers for researching, checking emails etc.
· If you are sitting at a table, sit next to one another rather than across from one another. This leads to better communication, you can observe body language etc.
· Preferably sit some way apart from another mentoring pair so you can chat without being overheard.

Small things are being achieved as the program gets under way in these schools. The program only has another 10 weeks to run and it will be interesting to compare the evaluations at the end of the two current programs with those of the first program that took place over 10 months.

June 26, 2008

49. Celebration of Learning! What a lot of WOW moments!

Earlier this week the formal part of the first GR8 MATES pilot program came to an end with a Celebration of Learning at the school. A few parents attended, though we did not expect many, as it was held during the middle of a working day. Students and mentors received Certificates for participating in the program and both mentor and mentee shared something about their mentoring journey during the past nine months.

The presentations took a variety of forms. One mentor interviewed his mentee. Three mentees delivered brief Power Point presentations and some simply shared their moments in brief speeches. The power of effective mentoring was the message that shone through each and every presentation. One mentee shared how he was in a really bad space this time last year before joining the program. As a result of the time shared with his mentor, he is now motivated, focused, self-confident and has a definite career path which will include a university degree. He shared how difficult it was to share all his antisocial behaviour issues that were getting him into trouble, but his mentor had pointed out to him that, 'Failure is not a person!' They had processed everything and moved on.

Another mentee shared how her mentor had helped her shape a career path, had assisted her find work experience and had been such a strong support to her, a theme that was echoed by a number of the mentees. Another mentor shared what a privilege it was for her to be allowed to enter her mentee'slife and publicly thanked him for the opportunity to share. A mentee pointed out how much he had enjoyed the time with his mentor, chatting aboutthings he would not have talked to his parents about ....... and so it went on.

Jayden was a young person very unsure of himself when he joined the program. Nine months later he delivered a superb Power Point show of his jouney with his mentor, Margaret. He has given permission for extracts to be used, so here they are straight from his slides:


When we were getting to know each other, (when we first met) we decided to look at what we had in common, which wasn’t a lot but we did have at least one thing in common and that was that we were both eager to work through this together and complete the tasks we set before us successfully.
• During the journey I changed my mind many times, I changed my mind about what kind of work I want to do, I changed my mind about how I want to live, I changed my mind about going to TAFE [ a tertiary institute] and I hope that all these changes will be for the best.
• I now know, I want to become a vet instead of a scientist, I want to spend less time wasting my time and using the time to help get me through life as a vet.
• I also know now that I don’t want to go to TAFE and with that spare time I will do voluntary work.
• From this mentoring journey I learnt a lot of things, things such as, What I wanted to do for my future career and how I was going to achieve the goals I set for myself. The mentoring journey has also showed me how I could improve my life so I wasted a lot less time on things that didn’t matter and I decided to use that time to help myself achieve my long term goals and I don’t think I could have achieved this without the help of my mentor and this mentoring program.

Jayden’s mentor, Margaret, publicly responded to his presentation and concluded with these words:

I have enjoyed sharing this journey with Jayden. I have seen him grow in confidence and self-belief. He has made positive changes in his daily life, has discovered a career path that interests him and has become more assertive. I have enjoyed his sense of humour. I wish him well for his future and know that if he continues to believe in himself he will accomplish more than he ever dreamed of.

Marion also allowed me to share a poem she wrote for her mentor which she read out to everyone, another powerful testimony about the power of a mentoring relationship. This poem can be found on the website: http://www.yess.co.nz/ in the 'Mentor' section under the heading, 'Tribute to a Mentor from a Mentee.' Free to download for anyone wishing to share with a group of mentors in training or simply needing some encouragement.

And so I could go on - a memorable day which ended with a large feast enjoyed by one and all.

Letters were sent out to all mentors, mentees and the mentees' parents informing them that the formal part of the program has ended. A number of mentors will continue to meet regularly with their mentees until the end of the year and most appear keen to stay in touch.

I still need to collate all the Exit Surveys and other material completed at the end of the journey and will post some conclusions at a later date.

That same night the training ended for the next group of mentors beginning a new program at the same school. They are keen, motivated and anxious at the same time. We have to conclude the post-training mentor interviews when I return from two weeks leave :-) and then it's all go!!

June 20, 2008

48. First Program early evaluation results

The first pilot project of the GR8 MATES program comes to an end next week. This past week has been a time for reflection, completing Mentor Exit Surveys, Mentee Exit Surveys and the online Mentor Profiler and Student Performer. Although it's too early to make any conclusive statements, it is not too early to say that this first program has been a resounding success. Students who have completed the Student Performer online have shown growth in many areas. Early signs are showing that those students who have grown in self-confidence are beginning to make strides to reach their potential. As there has been more of a leaning towards school retention and the development of career pathways in this program, it is good to see how much more confident most students appear to be in these areas. I need to do a lot more work on the evaluations etc., but there is enough evidence to suggest that a school-based youth mentoring program like GR8 MATES can be life-changing for young people who have plenty of self-doubt and, perhaps, are beginning to disengage from school.

I am looking forward to seeing how the mentors have fared in the Mentor Profiler and hope that most of them will complete this during the forthcoming weekend.

The two other programs are becoming more settled. In one of the schools another mentee has left the school, so we are awaiting the paperwork from another student. Mentors involved in these processes are showing great patience and restraint, as it would be all too easy for them to walk away from the program. I keep all mentors informed of developments in the three programs via a weekly email note and the feedback about these tends to be positive. It's a small way of continually reminding them that they are valued.

On Tuesday night the next batch of mentors will complete their training. School holidays follows and then the matching process will begin in early August. I have had confirmation from the outgoing group of mentors that almost all want to continue in the program, if not in August then when we run another program in 2009.

June 13, 2008

47. Preparing for closure and some public speaking

The first GR8 MATES program will be concluding in a couple of weeks. One of our mentors gave a brief presentation on public speaking to the students, as each will be sharing something about their mentoring experience in the final Celebration of Learning event. 6 Hot Tips - Public Speaking can be found in the Peer Mentor section of the website (http://www.yess.co.nz/) .

After the presentation, mentors had a few minutes to chat about what they and their mentees would say when our video crew came around to interview them. The video crew are made up of Year 11 students (penultimate year of school). I met with them an hour earlier and told them of my plans to have a three minute video clip for the GR8 MATES website. During the mentoring session they visited the mentoring pairs and each participant shared something in 30 - 45 seconds. Next week the mentees will be completing their on-line Student Performer and the video team will film some of that as well as the Celebration of Learning. I am hoping that they will end up making two or three video clips we could use on a variety of occasions :-).

Anyway, I was chatting to a mentor and a mentee prior to the video clip being shot. We were talking about the Celebration of Learning and Simon, the mentee (not his real name), was saying that he intended to 'wing it' ie, make up his speech on the day. His mentor and I smiled. When it came to filming Simon, he froze! Highly amusing and I hope he has learnt something from that experience.

Most mentors commented that the public speaking presentation had been well-timed, as it had helped their mentees prepare more thoroughly for the video shoot.

At the end of the mentoring session one of the mentees came up to me to have a chat. He had been working with his mentor on management of time skills and had come to the conclusion that he was wasting far too much time, not allocating enough time to academic studies and needed to do something about it - lots of learning continues!

We have decided to allow mentors to invite their husbands and wives (where applicable) to the Celebration of Learning and it will be good if some are able to attend. One mentor has reminded me earlier today to invite someone from the local community newspaper - smart thinking and something I nearly overlooked. A reminder to develop a checklist for this Celebration of Learning for future reference.

The two other programs are getting under way slowly. I have had to remind the mentors not to be phased if their mentees are not responding to the email yet. Still early days and the connection between mentor and mentee is not there yet in the majority of cases.

In the one program the school has decided to give one of the mentees, who kept being away from school, a final chance to participate in the program, a good decision which we hope will pay off in the long-term.

I have also been preparing all the Parent, Mentor and Mentee Exit Surveys, whilst continuing to raise the profile of GR8 MATES by exploring different possibilities for future funding.

Yesterday a 10th school approached us keen for GR8 MATES to be included there. This morning the 11th school approached me for inclusion. The need is certainly there!!

June 8, 2008

46. Expansion plans - doing the hard yards!!

I am also at the point where we have to kickstart a major campaign to raise funds if we wish to see GR8 MATES going beyond the pilot stage. It is a tough call, as the demand for mentors of these young people is considerably greater than many people realise. And, as the economy starts slowing down and parents experience more problems paying the mortgage, people are made redundant etc., this, too will impact on these young lives. Australia has been experiencing boom times in recent years. One is not allowed to mention the words ' possible recession', but I am a realist and I can already see the signs - people battling to meet mortgage payments, more smaller businesses closing down, others cutting back their workforce or not employing new staff when others leave etc. Western Sydney, where GR8 MATES operates, is an area with many, many of these battlers. In addition, each time I enter schools to give presentations on career topics, as well as to supervise the mentoring programs, I am struck by the number of young people clearly lacking significant adults in their lives, parents with effective parenting skills etc. and this is becoming quite a burden. So if we can create an army of trained volunteer adult mentors, we will be able to encourage more and more young people to keep going after their dreams, learning how to make some sacrifices to reach these dreams, understanding the need to work hard and to keep on keeping on and so much more.

The Steering Committee is coming together slowly but surely and I expect things to kick in once I return from leave in mid-July. All I do know is that I am reaching the limit of what I can realistically be expected to do if we want to run a quality program.

I spent part of Friday sending out Query letters to organisations, businesses, Foundations etc. just to find out whether or not they would even consider an application. My thinking is that if the application stands to gain about $1,000 it might not be worthwhile completing the Application forms. This is because it takes a couple of hours each time at least to complete these forms and one has more than a 50% chance of being rejected - how to manage one's time effectively remains the challenge.

Somehow I have to galvanise people to get behind GR8 MATES and am keen to work with a team of people to achieve this.

45. Mentoring and seed sowing

A more settled week in many respects with the different mentoring programs this week. The mentor training is going well and we are having some great discussions in preparation for the mentoring journey which will start in early August (July is a holiday time here). I would like to spend more time developing new material for the training, but it's all a question of priorities at the moment.

Our first program that is drawing to a close sees so many positives each week. Just in the small things like a mentor being overawed at the response of a mentee to a challenge the previous week, a response that was way beyond what the mentor was expecting; or a mentor reporting that her mentee, who had been reluctant to participate in the Celebration of Learning, is now discussing what she will be sharing. Arrangements are being made for one of our mentors, with Toastmasters experience, to share some tips on public speaking with all the mentees this week. So, not only is it an opportunity to prepare for their final Celebration of Learning function in two weeks time, but they also receive a free life skills lesson. In addition, I hope to be meeting with three or four students involved in the school's video program, as they will make a three minute video/DVD which we can add to our website, use for training and recruiting of mentors in the future. Possibly the only disappointing point is that a couple of students have intimated that they don't want their parents to attend the final Celebration of Learning, a sad reflection on domestic issues.

The two new programs are more settled. In the one, it looks as though one of the mentees is moving school so will be lost to the program, while another mentee is seldom at school and missing too many sessions, which means we have an enthusiastic mentor unable to begin mentoring, while some other needy student would be benefiting from this time with a significant adult in his or her life. Looks like we will bring two new students into the program this week.

The good news is that our web-based email system is now working. I provide the mentors and mentees with a Password and an ID and they lock into the system and share emails with one another. All emails are monitored and, in a way, it gives me a chance to encourage, offer some ongoing training etc. to the mentors when they have some curly issues to deal with. I am also going to be able to create some new case studies for the training using some of the issues which get raised in this forum.

I have been giving a lot of thought to the email, as it is still in the experimental phase and has not yet been used by all mentors as effectively as it could have been used. Having said that, there is no pressure on either the mentor or the mentee to use the email and perhaps some won't use it because it is being monitored - fair enough. There are also always mentors who believe they have all the experience and the answers and are reluctant to discuss their mentoring relationship with anyone. When they do so, it's at a superficial level. That's one reason for regular surveys - keeps program staff in touch with what's going on. Over the years I have found these to be the relationships that might have had some success, though possibly not as much as if there had been a team supporting the mentor on the mentoring journey, brainstorming issues, sharing ideas etc. This is why the debrief session is usually so valuable. Just this last week during the debrief I was chatting to a mentor who said she would have liked to have had an exchange of mobile phone numbers, as she might have been able to intervene to stop her mentee ending a recent work experience. We don't allow the sharing of such information in the interests of safety and security of both parties. However, as I pointed out to her, that does not mean we can't revisit this and even give it a trial for a month in the latter part of a mentoring journey if there is no breach of Child Safety regulations etc. Maybe we can explore a more flexible approach in the future. This is why we have pilot programs. They allow us the chance to explore, experiment and discover what makes for the most effective mentoring.

Back to the email. Given that the majority of mentees are lacking in self-confidence, have limited knowledge about goal getting, have average to poor management of time skills and sometimes lack support from home, the email can bridge some of these gaps eg, small tasks can be set between the mentor and the mentee and the latter can check in at an agreed time before the next mentoring session to report on his or her progress. This not only develops a feeling of accountability, but is affirmation that the mentor cares for the mentee and is keen to see that mentee reach their potential. As is happening at the moment, one mentee is offloading some relationship stuff with the mentor and that is creating a strong connection between the two. The mentor is learning how to respond by taking the emotion out of the reply and being the 'wise guide', aware that the mentor's role is not to 'fix' anything. I think there is heaps of potential in this email system where students and mentors have access to it. Although all students will have access via their school library computers, they are also lazy about checking the email through that particular system.

Three weeks into the new programs, some mentors have already made significant strides, while others are quietly establishing the connection with their mentees who have more troubled, challenging issues they are dealing with. I keep reminding them all, that their time together is a time when seeds are being sown that will be nurtured and watered in life's journey during the weeks, months and years ahead. Fascinating to observe from the outside.

How I salute these wonderful volunteers each week and never take anything for granted!!

May 30, 2008

44. OooH! Aaah! OW! WOW! moments this week

What a week it has been for GR8 MATES. Plenty of potentially positive events, some wobbles, some heavy reflection ..... no rest for the wicked running a youth mentoring program.

Our newly established programs are still trying to find their legs. Mentors are being incredibly patient, tolerant and understanding. With a couple of mentees in one program 'appearing' to be truanting from school, it makes it difficult to involve them fully in the mentoring program and to expect busy mentors to hang around waiting for something to happen. I expect we will make some decisions next week as to whether or not to replace these youngsters. One reason is simply because the program only has a six month time limit and we want to work with students who want to be engaged at school for that period of time, giving themselves another chance to explore career options, other education options etc. It's going to be a tough call, as the young people who are 'possibly' truanting would clearly benefit from the mentoring program.

Students have been completing the Student Performer, the on-line assessment tool, and that continues to reveal heaps about these young people. One point that seems to be coming out of this activity is that a number of students are almost at the cross-roads with regard to life choices. They clearly have potential, are still battling to see the relevance of school, yet have no career pathways to travel down. The result is that they are drifting, definitely in danger of making the wrong choices which they could live to regret. Absolutely the right time to have a mentor move alongside them.

A wonderful WOW! moment took place earlier in the week. Students at this school were involved in writing exams and mentors were waiting for a couple of students to finish. Another mentee, who is keen to obtain an Apprenticeship and leave school at the end of the year, arrived to link up with his mentor. I jokingly said that Joe (not his real name) doesn't 'do' exams. His mentor reiterated the point with additional humor. I then made the comment to Joe that Angela (not her real name) was fast becoming his hero, taking sides like that. He smiled, gently placed a hand on her shoulder and said with the utmost sincerity, "She is my hero!" A young lad, disengaging from school not too long ago, is now self-motivated and trying to turn things around. His mentor commented later that she was so touched by this gesture, as it was his way of acknowledging the fact that she cares about him and the choices he makes with his life. We live for those golden gem mentoring moments.

There are a couple of other mentees going through difficult relationship issues, opening up to their mentors only a few weeks into the mentoring journey. Again, the non-judgmental, wise guide doing his or her level best to be empathetic is shining through. And so I could go on ....

At our first pilot school we are busy planning the final closure event, entitled a Celebration of Learning, about which I will write more at a later date. We are also exploring the possibility of some students from that school making a three minute video of the mentoring journey which we can include on our website for marketing and recruiting purposes. Meanwhile the 12 mentors for the next program at that school are being trained and there is now a good chance that a couple of the current mentors will each choose to mentor another student. At least three of the current mentors are going to continue mentoring their mentees until the end of the year, a wonderful gesture!!

I have been writing my mid-year report and am seeing the signs that perhaps I will soon be over-reaching myself (is there such a phrase?). I will not be able to sustain the GR8 MATES program on my own ie, finding funding, setting up a Steering Committee, completing all the admin to ensure the program meets internationally credible Quality Assurance Standards and recruiting possibly up to 60 mentors during the next few months, training them so they are ready to start in February 2009 and then supervising them all. So, I am busy reviewing the way the program is structured, exploring ways the schools can take on some fairly minor changes to the admin and putting together the Job Description (too strong a word) for a Volunteer Team Leader from within the mentoring group who would preferably be someone already involved in mentoring within the GR8 MATES program. This, after all, is what pilot programs are for.

My concern? GR8 Mates will gain momentum and I will be burnt out in the process :-(

I have had some interest from mentors wanting to serve on the Steering Committee and, this afternoon, shared ideas with another mentor who might volunteer to edit a new Blog page and quarterly newsletters etc. for the program.

In reality what I am trying to do is to recruit people on the ground who will become part of the building of this GR8 MATES program, so there is a whole group of people who will catch, shape and grow the GR8 MATES vision. Thus, if we are able to receive some meaningful funding support (I put in another application today, but need more time to do more work in this area - does that sound familiar?) we will be ready to kickstart the expansion of the program.

May 21, 2008

43. New Programs launched and new training begins

Well, we finally have our three programs up and running! Earlier this week the mentors sat with their mentees while the latter completed the Student Performer, the on-line tool we use at the beginning and end of the mentoring journey to track the personal development of the mentees. The mentors also complete their own on-line Profiler after the training and at the end of the mentoring journey.

Most mentors said they found it really valuable observing this process and learnt heaps about their mentees. Some had computer glitches, so they still have to complete the Performer. Their mentors were so impressive though. They pulled out the Student Manual and sat doing some of the 'getting to know u' activities and had a great time. I went through the completed Performers and did a quick analysis of each, which I fed back to the respective mentors to add to their own perspectives. As I commented to quite a few mentors, their mentees have entered the mentoring journey at such a good time. Some of these students look as though they are about to take off (in a positive way), but have social issues, inconsistent approaches to their academic studies, management of time and prioritising shortfalls. With the assistance of their mentors, they have a really good chance of plugging these gaps before the challenge becomes 'too hard'. Other mentors will have considerably more work to do to encourage their mentees simply to start believing in themselves.

Sadly, it looks as though one of the students who was supposed to join the program has disengaged from school. Lots of personal issues. As I said to the School Coordinator, we were probably one month too late for this young person. If she had been locked into the program a month ago, I reckon she would have had a better chance of reaching her potential. Now I wait to see if she has actually left school. If not, I have offered to spend a few sessions with her, while the mentors are mentoring their mentees, doing some of the activities in the Student Manual - the best option I can offer.

Last night was the second evening of the new training program, attended by 12 mentors. One mentor had withdrawn, as he felt he was overcommitting himself and indicated he would reconsider joining in 2009. The training seemed to go well and it's so good to experience the positive buzz around the training area, even better knowing that we have an almost 50% male/female ratio of mentors - progress!!!! :-)

May 18, 2008

42. Death of a mentor ... the value of networking ...can't say enough about it

It has been a busy week, but one of the highlights was jumping into my car and heading off on a two hour drive to meet the Coordinator of another youth mentoring program. GR8 MATES is modelled on the Plan-it Youth program which this Coordinator is involved with. I had been encouraged to meet up with her quite some time ago, but decided not to until the first GR8 MATES program was well under way. I reasoned that then we would have things to talk about, I would have heaps more pertinent questions to ask and, possibly, I could also share some of my experiences :-)
I arrived at one of the host schools to link up with her, just in time to say 'hello' to the departing group of mentors. The program has about 8 - 12 mentors in each of the 14 schools where it operates. What I didn't know until after the mentors had departed was that this particular group had just had a very tough session, as one of the mentors had been knocked over by a motor vehicle the previous weekend and had died from the injuries sustained.
How had this been handled by the school and the Coordinator? Well, the mentors had gathered together a little earlier at the school. The mentee, accompanied by a friend, had joined these mentors and, together, they had held a minute's silence, remembering the mentor and had a brief time of sharing positives about her as well. The mentee has been offered counselling etc. by the school and will participate in the end of program celebration should she wish to do so. If her parents allowed her to attend the funeral she would do so as well. I was touched by the empathetic way the Coordinator and this team of mentors had offered such immediate support to this young girl. While this untimely death had thrown all the well-laid out plans of the Coordinator, she had accepted that it was a priority, had to sort out the program's involvement in the funeral and would get back to her other work once this was all sorted. A great example to me of how to deal with a similar situation which no mentor coordinator would wish on anyone.

We had a fantastic couple of hours and, rather selfishly, as I said to her, this was perfect timing for me. GR8 MATES now has three programs operating, nine more schools want to run the program and I will not be able to launch one more program without making some changes. While I picked away at her program with question after question, she willingly shared with me all her relevant experiences. Most important she shared ideas as to how the program could expand with the use of volunteers. As already mentioned, she has programs operating in 14 schools, developed over six years, and uses volunteers extensively to manage and run the programs in these different schools. The School Coordinator clearly has a very important role to play and, as we all know, without the Principal's support, no program is likely to be long-lasting.

I was advised to be careful about who I allow to do the training and to make sure that the participating schools are fully aware of their commitments before deciding to participate. Obviously she can't do everything and the schools have to know that from the beginning. She likes them to feel self-empowering in the partnership, though I might not adopt that approach, as GR8 MATES is still new and our Policies and Procedures are still being worked on, so we can write more specifics into the program at this point.

It was also made clear to me the urgency of setting up our Steering Committee so that I did not have to feel overwhelmed by the task at hand. She had come close to burn-out twice already and was learning how to let her Committee make decisions in the knowledge that she simply cannot do everything! It sounded as if her Committee was a relatively new addition to the program and is still a 'work in progress'.

So, I drove home with plenty to think about. Next day, as I opened my emails at the office, there was one from one of the local Neighborhood Centres I have been working with in recent months, suggesting we get together to discuss the composition of the Steering Committee and how they might be able to assist. Perfect timing!!

Not being one who likes reinventing the wheel, I was enormously grateful that another Coordinator from a well-established program was happy to share with me. We have agreed to keep in touch. Of course, the day after I had met with her I had a further list of questions to ask. We will be talking again tomorrow :-), this time by phone.

And, in case you think I was just taking, taking, taking - not true! I left her with a copy of our Policies and Procedures on the understanding that it is still a 'work in progress' - she seemed interested in adapting our Mentor Log sheet for her program - as well as some of my published material.

41. And the third new program gets under way

On Thursday the third GR8 MATES program got under way in one of our Hawkesbury Schools and what a great time it was, too. One of the new mentors phoned me early in the day to say she had had an altercation with a horse the previous day and was at one of the local hospitals waiting to see the doctor, as the damage was around her eye. I suggested that her health was more important than anything else and that she should not panic about making the mentor matching session, but we would make a plan for her to meet up with her mentee on another day.

I received a couple of text messages as I was driving to the school, informing me that this mentor was on her way! While she obviously arrived late, it was a wonderful example to the students of how committed these mentors are to the program. She and her mentee got on wonderfully well, which was awesome to see .....

It looked as though most of the other matches also got off to a good start, although it's way too early to jump to any conclusions. Certainly all the pairs were eagerly engrossed in discussion after they had both signed the Mentor and Mentee Contracts respectively. I asked the mentors to go through the contracts with their mentees, pointing out to both that, like a job, one has to get used to making commitments and, by signing the Contracts, they were making a commitment to positively participate in the program A small life skill!

Gathering with the mentors for some snacks and a debrief after the session, there was a very positive vibe and I was already seeing the brainstorming of possibilities to make the mentoring journey a wonderful experience for all concerned.

Sadly, for the mentoring program (just being selfish!), there is a teachers' Industrial Action day planned for Thursday next week, so we will not be able to meet. It's only sad, as the time these mentors will be spending with their mentees is relatively short (six months) and every hour missed could be used in a positive way to encourage a young person to reach their potential.

May 12, 2008

40. Mentors meet mentees - a new journey begins, but!!!!!

Our second program began today with a bang! One mentor phoned me early in the day to check that her mentee was at school, as she had a particularly busy day and did not want to travel to the school if he was not there. He was at school, so all was good!

However, when I arrived at the school I discovered that the School Coordinator, who had been sick last week, was still away and the other Senior Management teacher who would have assisted was also sick! Fortunately, the Principal was up to speed with the program and together we got things sorted out, not without incident though.

The young lad about whom I had phoned earlier in the day was now absent - seemed like he was playing truant, nothing to do with the mentoring program. Another mentee was not at school, relationship and other issues confusing her young life. No-one knew where she was. Another had relationship issues that he was not dealing well with and had failed to appear.

As our program targets students beginning to disengage from school, mentors saw the reality of that today. However, I felt sorry for them, as they had travelled the distance yet were very understanding. Again, I learnt my lesson about double-checking that the students were at school prior to mentors arriving at the school. When I returned to the office, I immediately contacted the other school where the mentors meet their mentees on Thursday and asked the School Coordinator to put in place a plan to check the presence of students prior to the mentors arriving :-)

As I say, the mentors were very understanding, no doubt disappointed though, as they have been rearing to begin the mentoring journeys.

For the rest, the first session appeared to go incredibly well, some mentors expressing amazement that some of the mentees opened up so quickly and readily.
As I sit reflecting on the occasion, I cannot help but appreciate how so many young people need these non-judgmental mentors in their lives. Stories are too personal to place on this Blog, but I am hoping that there are going to be some awesome life-changing moments in the months ahead - watch this space :-)

May 11, 2008

39. Third program launch and a Parent WOW moment!

Our third program matching session took place on Thursday. A small group of 7 mentors and mentees. When I arrived at the school the mentees were sitting around - better to say lounging around - in the library waiting for everyone to arrive. I made a comment about them looking fast asleep and some responded and shared the humor.

Once the matching session began, they began to perk up. When I did a fun activity - they are all fun actually - some were a little disinterested, then they rose to the challenge and then they were all involved. Wonderful to see the transformation taking place in the space of 30 or so minutes. As I have probably mentioned before, so many of these young people are lacking in ambition, self-belief and so much more. We have done the matching now and mentors meet with mentees for the first time next week. Then, just as we get the program under way, we miss the next week because of teacher industrial action ... grrr!! Not for me to comment on this, just to ask those organising such action not to get in the way of the GR8 MATES mentor program, as every minute these youngsters spend with their mentors could be potentially life-changing :-)

I returned to work and found an email from another mentor. She was going to hear her mentee sing that night at the school and wasn't sure how to approach the mentee's parents. Indeed, she wasn't sure that her mentee actually wanted her to meet her parents! What should she do? Well, I suggested that she let the mentee take the lead and, if she was introduced to the parents, also let them take the lead to assess how much they knew about the mentoring program etc. etc. I tried to encourage the mentor not to go over the top with enthusiasm about her mentee and to be careful that the parents didn't feel threatened in any way by the mentoring relationship, even though they had given their daughter permission to participate!

Next morning the mentor sent me an email. She hadn't seen my email prior to leaving for the show, but in the end it didn't matter. She proceeded to tell me that the mentee had introduced her to her parents. The mentee's mum expressed her gratitude to the mentor for all she was doing; mum had noticed the positive changes in her daughter in recent months etc. etc. and she invited the mentee to sit with the family for the second part of the evening. If there was a Cloud 99, the mentor was higher than that. She even forgot to tell me how the mentee's vocal performance was!!

Again, it's a wonderful tale to tell, when less than a month ago the selfsame mentee was questioning the value of the mentoring relationship. Now she does not want it to end! A little help from her mentor in offering some work experience at her child's playschool, a consistently caring and encouraging attitude, some positive email messages - a combination of these have transformed this mentoring relationship. A WOW moment for the mentor, the mentee, the mentee's parents and for the GR8 MATES program indeed!!

May 7, 2008

38. Recruiting mentors - the power of sharing information

Last week I mentioned that I had been speaking to a small Neighborhood group of semi-retired and retired people and hoped that I would have 4 or 5 new mentors for the training I begin for a fourth program next week.

As I write up this blog page, I have just signed on another mentor from that group, making the total from that meeting 7!! Quite awesome. I now have 13 mentors for the training, which meets our target of between 10 and 15 mentors for each program. One mentor I have already trained will be joining this program when we are ready to begin the mentoring journey and I hope one or two other current mentors might participate as well.

Why is this important? Well, thanks to the wonderful lady who works at the Neighborhood centre, I have been able to achieve major inroads into a section of the population that would make GR8 mentors! 47% of that population are evidently retired or semi-retired. And there are possibilities of the Neighborhood Centre being involved in other programs we run as well.

Yet of even more importance is the networking with other organisations and people globally. I have been advised to create something on Face Book and some of the other sites, but I don't have that sort of time. Instead I affiliate to the Mentor Exchange Listserv (see my links page on my website http://www.yess.co.nz/) and through the sharing of information I have gained some excellent resources. Thanks, Mike and your team!! :-) What I am doing is putting into practice what all the research is saying ie, different presentations for different groups. So for this Neighborhood meeting, I stressed that we wanted their expertise, that young people really value being with them and learning from them, that the group is always meeting as a group at the school, so there is a great opportunity to bond, build community etc. and lots more.

I am not that good at chasing up people about anything, but I am glad that I contacted this person recommended to me by the Principal of the school where we are running the mentoring program. Perseverance pays off.

37. A new program gets under way - it's challenging!

Earlier this week I ran the mentor and mentee matching session at one of the schools where we are launching our GR8 MATES program. We had plenty of fun and the activities that took place were totally non-threatening and aimed at helping mentors and mentees find similar interests, values etc. One mentee muttered to the School Coordinator that he didn't see how grey-haired old people could help him and then, a short while later, chose two 'grey-haired' old people in his choice of three for the mentoring role!!

This particular group of students has so little ambition. Most don't have a clue what they want to do with their lives; most have very few people they look up to and admire, yet they all have potential and this wonderful new group of mentors will encourage them to see this.

We had a few students unable to attend the matching session as they had other school commitments or were away. This made the matching a bit of a juggling act, but I ended up comparing similar interests etc. which both parties had expressed in their Interest Surveys. No complaints received thus far, so I am feeling optimistic.

This school is a challenge, yet they have some fantastically dedicated and committed staff and a Principal doing his level best to encourage the students to see all the possibilities out there for them. Having the mentors, all successful people in their own right, arriving each week at the school, will itself be a positive development.

My only concern is that 6 months is going to be too short for these mentoring relationships, especially because the mentors will be trying to cover a lot of ground to help these youngsters make wise choices about their futures. However, it is a pilot program, so it's all a learning curve!

While we were involved in the matching session, a few students put their heads through the door to find out what was going on. When told, they wanted to know why they could not participate? That's the sort of response that we want to hear isn't it?

Tomorrow I run the matching session for the third new program. A smaller group with different dynamics. Could be interesting.

36. More WOW moments this week! Life-changing perhaps?

Yesterday was another wonderful day with the mentors and their mentees. Many of the mentees are heading off next week on a week of work experience and mentors have been actively helping this process.

One of the challenges many adolescents have to deal with is fear ie, fear about making that phone call to the person they want to speak to about a possible work experience opportunity; fear because they might be rejected by an employer and so much more. Yesterday a mentor sat with her mentee as the latter confirmed her work experience opportunity. The mentee phoned the company and first had to deal with someone who knew nothing about this. The mentee was passed on to two other people before she finally got things sorted. She was so happy after completing this process and acknowledged that she had, indeed, overcome that fear and how much easier it was having her mentor there to encourage her. The mentee is also becoming highly motivated about the possibility of teaching as a career thanks to the work she and the mentor are doing together. Both the mentor and the mentee were bubbling with enthusiasm about their plans for the next few weeks.

In my last post I mentioned a mentor who felt she was battling with her mentee. Well, yesterday was a life-changing moment, I am sure. The mentee, who has been very much one of those 'it's too hard!' youngsters, announced that he had organised his work experience since seeing his mentor last week; he personally went to sort out some other arrangements with the Careers Adviser yesterday with no help from his mentor and he shared some other information with his mentor about personal changes in his life. I think a young life is quietly crossing the bridge to great progress thanks to the persistence of his mentor believing in him.

And the young lad who is heading off to work experience next week is so pumped and ready to go and also told his mentor that he would like to stay in touch when the mentoring program officially ends in late June. His mentor also discovered quite by chance, as she was doing some work at her local church, that her mentee attends youth group there, something he had never mentioned. They chatted about that yesterday and had a good laugh! It is reassuring to know that the mentee is attending the youth group as he will be mixing with more positive role models.

Mentees are beginning to mutter that they don't want the program to end and want to keep meeting with their mentors. I think we are in for an interesting couple of months.

April 30, 2008

35. School is back and all the WOW! moments

Yesterday the mentors and mentees met for their final term or semester. There was a wonderful buzz in the room after the mentees had returned to class and soon it was obvious why this was the case.

It was a catch-up session, yet mentors were just blown away at what mentees were doing and saying eg, one mentee told her mentor that she would be staying at school next year rather than leaving, which had been her original plan. She still had to tell her parents, but wanted the mentor to know. Higher school retention is one of the GR8 MATES goals. This mentor is now working through different career choices with the mentee. Another has a mentee heading off to work experience in a couple of weeks and he is soooooo motivated for this. He has used his initiative to set up the work experience and wants to be offered an apprenticeship at the end of his week of work experience. His mentor is sharing ways to make this possible. Three months ago this mentee was drifting, demotivated, desperate to leave school. Now he has a purpose! Another program goal achieved. Another received the most awesome email message after the mentoring session, the mentee saying how much she had enjoyed the mentoring relationship and was excited about some of the future career matters they were planning together. Yet another informed her mentor that she would be making some phone calls to a potential employer - 6 weeks ago that would not have happened. The mentor was still in shock, I think, as she shared this. Another mentor is battling with her mentee who announced yesterday that he wanted to leave school. There is no way he is ready to do so and we discussed strategies to help him see the options available to him. This mentor has achieved so much with her mentee, yet battles to see it. The School Coordinator and I can see it and tell her as such - how important it is to affirm these mentors! A brief email from that mentee to his mentor overnight just saying how much he had enjoyed catching up again after the holidays, said heaps! And, so I can go on ........ as all the mentors were leaving, the Principal came out of his office. He stood there and greeted the mentors and then told me that he was about to ask how things had gone, but he had seen the mentors involved in animated discussions, really pumped up, so he knew the answer!

Now I am trying to recruit for another program at that school. Training is due to start in a couple of weeks and I would like a few more mentors. With the help of the local Neighborhood Centre, a group gathered this morning for an orientation. If 4 or 5 of these retired folk come on board that would be brilliant. I wish I had more time to do the recruiting.

Our other two programs get under way next week .... more on that later.

April 21, 2008

34. And then there were questions about the future of youth mentoring in Australia

No sooner was there some encouragement about the possibility of youth mentoring expanding in Australia, than an article appeared in today's newspaper suggesting that one of the most successful youth mentoring programs in New South Wales could be scrapped because of a lack of funding. No decision has been taken yet, but the program is totally dependent on State funding and the local State government seems to be doing its level best to cut funding for the most worthwhile causes!!

This particular program under threat is the Plan-It Youth program, the program on which GR8 MATES has been based.

It will be a great tragedy if all the good work done by those who have pioneered this program is not supported.

Yet again it underlines the importance of being able to obtain donor support and not become totally dependent on government funding, though this is not easy either. GR8 MATES is still exploring the donor options, but we know it is going to be a tough journey to walk unless some benevolent philanthropist with a heart for young people decides to invest in the program.

Watch this space ............

33. Australia waking up to the importance of mentoring?

During the past weekend, new Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, has held a 2020 Summit attended by 1000 delegates from around Australia. The purpose was to put on the table some Big Ideas for the future development of Australia. As with all such summits, there was criticism of the selection of the delegates, not a true representation of the Australian population, Kevin Rudd wanting to be photographed with the Who's Who of Australia, predictable ideas being placed on the table, many of which were Labour Party thoughts anyway, too much time listening to politicians stroking their own egos and so on.

From the reports I have read, I was amazed there was not more of a focus on the education of our young people. There are serious issues in a society when one is constantly hearing about the teenage binge drinking, more and more abuse of drugs, increasingly violent and antisocial behaviour of too many of our young people, a lack of respect for authority figures and so much more. The family unit is disintegrating more and more and we have to listen to the vocal few, who receive far too much media coverage in my opinion, championing everything BUT what global research seems to suggest is the key to a strong, prosperous, stable society ie, the nuclear family. Indeed, last week there was even a suggestion that schools no longer be allowed to use the word 'mum' and 'dad' ... thankfully, quickly shot down, though where will this end, I wonder? Anyway, it seemed as if much of this was ignored by the Big Ideas people, though I hope I am incorrect.

Coming out of the summit were quite a few references to mentoring programs. While sometimes the word was incorrectly used, at other times it was positively suggested and that is encouraging. It will be interesting to see whether anything comes out of this, once again because the government will be wanting quick-fix solutions to win votes for the next election. That's not a cynical statement, but a true one, which is a sad reflection of society in a way. Are we all falling into the instant gratification syndrome, I am wondering more and more?

I was conducting a Career Transition Survey pilot in one of our local schools towards the end of last term. The idea behind this survey, to be completed by 13 to 19-year old students, is to find out what they are thinking about their futures, whether or not they have a career path, know where to look for information, are being hindered by a variety of personal or family matters etc. I decided to throw in a question asking whether or not these young people would like a non-judgmental person to move alongside them and meet at the school for one hour a week for six months to talk about careers etc. ie, what GR8 MATES is trying to achieve. 54 of the 69 students who completed the survey, most of whom were 15 to 17 years of age, said they would like a mentor. I am now keen to run this survey in more schools to see if there are more students feeling like this. If so, it will be a very powerful message about mentoring to take to the government at Federal and State level.