The above question has been asked or implied in discussions with some of our mentors in recent weeks. In my weekly email out to all our mentors last week, I wrote:
In recent weeks, I sense that there is one question many mentors are asking themselves, which is quite normal: How am I doing? Sometimes it can be asked another way: Do you think I am making any difference?
Back we go to the training! A reminder that every young person is in a different space and that there is no competition in this mentoring journey. I have watched mentors listen to their mentees telling them that they are adamant they will be leaving school at the end of Year 10. A few weeks later the mentee is equally adamant that he or she is remaining at school until Year 12. A few weeks later the same young person is talking of leaving again at the end of Year 10. Welcome to the world of the teenager!!
Then there is the mentee who wants to become a hairdresser or a mechanic. Off they go to work experience and discover this is not for them. That’s brilliant, as that’s what the work experience is all about. Then it’s back to the drawing board with the mentor to look at other interests etc. and the journey of career exploration begins all over again.
This is what mentoring is all about and it cannot be measured. What is going on is the presence of a wise guide in the life of a young person trying to find his or her way – there is communication, social skill development and so much more occurring.
Then there will be other mentoring relationships where mentors are concerned about possible drug use, too much wagging school (truancy), a mentee with totally different values etc. etc. No mentor will be able to change behavior patterns in a week or two or three. In fact, no mentor will be able to change behavior patterns at all. What the mentor can do is be that non-judgmental, empathetic cheerleader and let the mentee take responsibility for his or her decisions, no matter how painful that might be for the mentor. That is the reality of life and sometimes these young people have to go to the bottom of the pit until they discover they can make different choices. It’s tough, it’s hard and some of them are so caught up in negative behavior patterns they just can’t see a way out. So, we need to sow the resiliency seeds by identifying and naming resilient qualities and encourage them to create a network of support around themselves. Are all mentors doing this?
Every mentor who turns up week in and week out is making a difference in that young person’s life. Have no fear of that! That’s why I believe so passionately in mentoring these young people. 10 years from now something you might have shared with your mentee might suddenly kick in. Had you not been there for the young person, that WOW! moment might never have happened, so that’s something to always keep at the back of your mind.
Planning is under way for 2009. It looks like one of the schools running a pilot program wants another program next year, with the mentors being trained soon so they are able to start at the beginning of next year. More of that another time........
In recent weeks, I sense that there is one question many mentors are asking themselves, which is quite normal: How am I doing? Sometimes it can be asked another way: Do you think I am making any difference?
Back we go to the training! A reminder that every young person is in a different space and that there is no competition in this mentoring journey. I have watched mentors listen to their mentees telling them that they are adamant they will be leaving school at the end of Year 10. A few weeks later the mentee is equally adamant that he or she is remaining at school until Year 12. A few weeks later the same young person is talking of leaving again at the end of Year 10. Welcome to the world of the teenager!!
Then there is the mentee who wants to become a hairdresser or a mechanic. Off they go to work experience and discover this is not for them. That’s brilliant, as that’s what the work experience is all about. Then it’s back to the drawing board with the mentor to look at other interests etc. and the journey of career exploration begins all over again.
This is what mentoring is all about and it cannot be measured. What is going on is the presence of a wise guide in the life of a young person trying to find his or her way – there is communication, social skill development and so much more occurring.
Then there will be other mentoring relationships where mentors are concerned about possible drug use, too much wagging school (truancy), a mentee with totally different values etc. etc. No mentor will be able to change behavior patterns in a week or two or three. In fact, no mentor will be able to change behavior patterns at all. What the mentor can do is be that non-judgmental, empathetic cheerleader and let the mentee take responsibility for his or her decisions, no matter how painful that might be for the mentor. That is the reality of life and sometimes these young people have to go to the bottom of the pit until they discover they can make different choices. It’s tough, it’s hard and some of them are so caught up in negative behavior patterns they just can’t see a way out. So, we need to sow the resiliency seeds by identifying and naming resilient qualities and encourage them to create a network of support around themselves. Are all mentors doing this?
Every mentor who turns up week in and week out is making a difference in that young person’s life. Have no fear of that! That’s why I believe so passionately in mentoring these young people. 10 years from now something you might have shared with your mentee might suddenly kick in. Had you not been there for the young person, that WOW! moment might never have happened, so that’s something to always keep at the back of your mind.
Planning is under way for 2009. It looks like one of the schools running a pilot program wants another program next year, with the mentors being trained soon so they are able to start at the beginning of next year. More of that another time........
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