A more settled week in many respects with the different mentoring programs this week. The mentor training is going well and we are having some great discussions in preparation for the mentoring journey which will start in early August (July is a holiday time here). I would like to spend more time developing new material for the training, but it's all a question of priorities at the moment.
Our first program that is drawing to a close sees so many positives each week. Just in the small things like a mentor being overawed at the response of a mentee to a challenge the previous week, a response that was way beyond what the mentor was expecting; or a mentor reporting that her mentee, who had been reluctant to participate in the Celebration of Learning, is now discussing what she will be sharing. Arrangements are being made for one of our mentors, with Toastmasters experience, to share some tips on public speaking with all the mentees this week. So, not only is it an opportunity to prepare for their final Celebration of Learning function in two weeks time, but they also receive a free life skills lesson. In addition, I hope to be meeting with three or four students involved in the school's video program, as they will make a three minute video/DVD which we can add to our website, use for training and recruiting of mentors in the future. Possibly the only disappointing point is that a couple of students have intimated that they don't want their parents to attend the final Celebration of Learning, a sad reflection on domestic issues.
The two new programs are more settled. In the one, it looks as though one of the mentees is moving school so will be lost to the program, while another mentee is seldom at school and missing too many sessions, which means we have an enthusiastic mentor unable to begin mentoring, while some other needy student would be benefiting from this time with a significant adult in his or her life. Looks like we will bring two new students into the program this week.
The good news is that our web-based email system is now working. I provide the mentors and mentees with a Password and an ID and they lock into the system and share emails with one another. All emails are monitored and, in a way, it gives me a chance to encourage, offer some ongoing training etc. to the mentors when they have some curly issues to deal with. I am also going to be able to create some new case studies for the training using some of the issues which get raised in this forum.
I have been giving a lot of thought to the email, as it is still in the experimental phase and has not yet been used by all mentors as effectively as it could have been used. Having said that, there is no pressure on either the mentor or the mentee to use the email and perhaps some won't use it because it is being monitored - fair enough. There are also always mentors who believe they have all the experience and the answers and are reluctant to discuss their mentoring relationship with anyone. When they do so, it's at a superficial level. That's one reason for regular surveys - keeps program staff in touch with what's going on. Over the years I have found these to be the relationships that might have had some success, though possibly not as much as if there had been a team supporting the mentor on the mentoring journey, brainstorming issues, sharing ideas etc. This is why the debrief session is usually so valuable. Just this last week during the debrief I was chatting to a mentor who said she would have liked to have had an exchange of mobile phone numbers, as she might have been able to intervene to stop her mentee ending a recent work experience. We don't allow the sharing of such information in the interests of safety and security of both parties. However, as I pointed out to her, that does not mean we can't revisit this and even give it a trial for a month in the latter part of a mentoring journey if there is no breach of Child Safety regulations etc. Maybe we can explore a more flexible approach in the future. This is why we have pilot programs. They allow us the chance to explore, experiment and discover what makes for the most effective mentoring.
Back to the email. Given that the majority of mentees are lacking in self-confidence, have limited knowledge about goal getting, have average to poor management of time skills and sometimes lack support from home, the email can bridge some of these gaps eg, small tasks can be set between the mentor and the mentee and the latter can check in at an agreed time before the next mentoring session to report on his or her progress. This not only develops a feeling of accountability, but is affirmation that the mentor cares for the mentee and is keen to see that mentee reach their potential. As is happening at the moment, one mentee is offloading some relationship stuff with the mentor and that is creating a strong connection between the two. The mentor is learning how to respond by taking the emotion out of the reply and being the 'wise guide', aware that the mentor's role is not to 'fix' anything. I think there is heaps of potential in this email system where students and mentors have access to it. Although all students will have access via their school library computers, they are also lazy about checking the email through that particular system.
Three weeks into the new programs, some mentors have already made significant strides, while others are quietly establishing the connection with their mentees who have more troubled, challenging issues they are dealing with. I keep reminding them all, that their time together is a time when seeds are being sown that will be nurtured and watered in life's journey during the weeks, months and years ahead. Fascinating to observe from the outside.
How I salute these wonderful volunteers each week and never take anything for granted!!
Our first program that is drawing to a close sees so many positives each week. Just in the small things like a mentor being overawed at the response of a mentee to a challenge the previous week, a response that was way beyond what the mentor was expecting; or a mentor reporting that her mentee, who had been reluctant to participate in the Celebration of Learning, is now discussing what she will be sharing. Arrangements are being made for one of our mentors, with Toastmasters experience, to share some tips on public speaking with all the mentees this week. So, not only is it an opportunity to prepare for their final Celebration of Learning function in two weeks time, but they also receive a free life skills lesson. In addition, I hope to be meeting with three or four students involved in the school's video program, as they will make a three minute video/DVD which we can add to our website, use for training and recruiting of mentors in the future. Possibly the only disappointing point is that a couple of students have intimated that they don't want their parents to attend the final Celebration of Learning, a sad reflection on domestic issues.
The two new programs are more settled. In the one, it looks as though one of the mentees is moving school so will be lost to the program, while another mentee is seldom at school and missing too many sessions, which means we have an enthusiastic mentor unable to begin mentoring, while some other needy student would be benefiting from this time with a significant adult in his or her life. Looks like we will bring two new students into the program this week.
The good news is that our web-based email system is now working. I provide the mentors and mentees with a Password and an ID and they lock into the system and share emails with one another. All emails are monitored and, in a way, it gives me a chance to encourage, offer some ongoing training etc. to the mentors when they have some curly issues to deal with. I am also going to be able to create some new case studies for the training using some of the issues which get raised in this forum.
I have been giving a lot of thought to the email, as it is still in the experimental phase and has not yet been used by all mentors as effectively as it could have been used. Having said that, there is no pressure on either the mentor or the mentee to use the email and perhaps some won't use it because it is being monitored - fair enough. There are also always mentors who believe they have all the experience and the answers and are reluctant to discuss their mentoring relationship with anyone. When they do so, it's at a superficial level. That's one reason for regular surveys - keeps program staff in touch with what's going on. Over the years I have found these to be the relationships that might have had some success, though possibly not as much as if there had been a team supporting the mentor on the mentoring journey, brainstorming issues, sharing ideas etc. This is why the debrief session is usually so valuable. Just this last week during the debrief I was chatting to a mentor who said she would have liked to have had an exchange of mobile phone numbers, as she might have been able to intervene to stop her mentee ending a recent work experience. We don't allow the sharing of such information in the interests of safety and security of both parties. However, as I pointed out to her, that does not mean we can't revisit this and even give it a trial for a month in the latter part of a mentoring journey if there is no breach of Child Safety regulations etc. Maybe we can explore a more flexible approach in the future. This is why we have pilot programs. They allow us the chance to explore, experiment and discover what makes for the most effective mentoring.
Back to the email. Given that the majority of mentees are lacking in self-confidence, have limited knowledge about goal getting, have average to poor management of time skills and sometimes lack support from home, the email can bridge some of these gaps eg, small tasks can be set between the mentor and the mentee and the latter can check in at an agreed time before the next mentoring session to report on his or her progress. This not only develops a feeling of accountability, but is affirmation that the mentor cares for the mentee and is keen to see that mentee reach their potential. As is happening at the moment, one mentee is offloading some relationship stuff with the mentor and that is creating a strong connection between the two. The mentor is learning how to respond by taking the emotion out of the reply and being the 'wise guide', aware that the mentor's role is not to 'fix' anything. I think there is heaps of potential in this email system where students and mentors have access to it. Although all students will have access via their school library computers, they are also lazy about checking the email through that particular system.
Three weeks into the new programs, some mentors have already made significant strides, while others are quietly establishing the connection with their mentees who have more troubled, challenging issues they are dealing with. I keep reminding them all, that their time together is a time when seeds are being sown that will be nurtured and watered in life's journey during the weeks, months and years ahead. Fascinating to observe from the outside.
How I salute these wonderful volunteers each week and never take anything for granted!!
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